eHarmony Blog

eHarmony experts' take on dating, relationships and the science of love.


number one painted in red on white wooden board
July 29, 2015

Why You Should Be a Selfish Dater

From the time we’re little children we are told to share. We’re told to be thoughtful, and to put others ahead of ourselves. “Don’t be selfish!” is a refrain heard in homes up and down every street in America. When it comes to little children and toys the lesson is necessary. When it comes to […]

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getting married nowadays
July 15, 2015

Was Finding Love Easier For Your Grandparents?

In his new book, Modern Romance, comedian Aziz Ansari describes texting a woman named Tanya and asking her for a date. A few minutes later, the software shows she read it. Then he sees the little dots that indicate she’s typing a reply. Then the dots vanish. Several hours pass and no word. A day […]

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dating anxiety
July 10, 2015

Rx for Dating Anxiety: Do Something Nice

In the novel The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., Adelle Waldman’s character Aurit perfectly articulates the unique emotional toll of dating: “Dating is probably the most fraught human interaction there is. You’re sizing people up to see if they’re worth your time and attention, and they’re doing the same to you. It’s meritocracy applied to […]

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dating advice three
July 9, 2015

Dating at 25 Versus 35: Advantages and Disadvantages

The experiences of dating at 25 versus 35 are light years apart. Though ten years’ difference may not seem so long relative to the overall lifespan, ten years makes an enormous difference at this critical juncture of adulthood. In one’s 20s, men and women are dating and getting established professionally; by their 30s, many men […]

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dating horror stories
July 9, 2015

Stop with the Dating Horror Stories … Your Date is Not Impressed

Have you encountered this favorite pastime of online daters? As soon as you order your drink, your date leans in with the bait. “So, how do you like online dating?” he asks. Before you can even answer, “I’ve met some nice people,” he exclaims, “Well, I’ve got a story for you!” Thus begins a so-called […]

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red flags
July 2, 2015

Signs That Your Date Has Emotional Problems Vs. Everyday Issues

Show me someone who doesn’t have any personal issues and I’ll show you a briefcase full of thousand dollar bills. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, it’s simply not going to happen. The goal in dating isn’t to find someone who doesn’t have any issues but rather to find someone who doesn’t have serious emotional problems. […]

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July 1, 2015

Should Smoking Be a Deal Breaker?

For many men and women, smoking is a deal breaker in any potential date. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 18 percent of adults smoke cigarettes. If you rule out people who don’t smoke, the reality is that you are ruling out thousands – no, millions – of people! Yet the […]

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couple travel tips
June 29, 2015

Planning a First Trip Together? Here’s How to Make Sure There’s a Second

Travel can bring a couple closer, but it can also stress out a new relationship and make you wonder if you’re really compatible in the long run. With every couple sunset selfie and delightful discovery of some amazing café that makes the best Nutella and banana crepes you’ve ever had, comes a lot of opportunities […]

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search for love
June 26, 2015

Taking the Panic Out of the Search for Love

Last year I sat on a panel at a prestigious university with an author who’d published a book telling female students that if they wanted to avoid lifetime spinsterhood, they needed to find a husband while they were in college. “Double down,” she told some of the brightest young women in the country, “before you […]

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intimidating woman
June 22, 2015

‘How Can I Stop Intimidating Men?’

Recently a reader wrote to me after a man she’d been dating for ten weeks broke up with her. She said that the breakup was mature and honest, but was dismayed that the man gave her the same reason she’d heard many times before. “They say ‘I deserve better’ and they just weren’t feeling it,” […]

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