10 Ways to Lower the Chances You’ll Be Single Forever

In a world where social expectations often see couplehood as the ultimate goal, the idea of being single forever is often met with skepticism or even pity. Just to put this first, despite what pop culture may tell you, there’s nothing wrong with being single forever – in fact, over half of all single adults in the US say they’re content with their own company¹. That said, many don’t want to stay single forever because they fear lonliness and haven’t lost the basic human need for emotional companionship. Let’s look at some tips for anyone who wants to leave single life behind.

Challenges of being single

According to the Pew Research Center, 15% of Americans are single with no plans to date or look for a romantic partner.² Whether you’re more likely to be single or married depends on age and gender – men are more likely to be single younger, while women tend to be single later in life. It’s not surprising, considering women tend to live longer and men are more likely to marry later.

While being single forever is one thing, more and more people are realizing that it’s okay not to have, or want, a partner. Now that opportunities for women have evolved well beyond making a good marriage, being single forever has become more feasible. As societies become more accepting of casual sex, another major reason to be in a relationship has become less of a draw. Interestingly, studies show that single people cope better with loneliness than their married counterparts as they age³.

The main argument against saying: ‘I want to be single forever’? Economics. With one income, single people are likelier to be financially insecure, especially as they get older.

While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be single forever, here are 10 tips for those who say: ‘I don’t want to be single forever!’

1. Stay hopeful; nothing is set in stone

As stories of love in nursing homes show, it’s never too late. So while you might feel like you’re going to be single forever, you never know when or where Cupid’s arrow will find you – so keep an open mind!

2. Remain open to the possibilities

As hockey superstar Wayne Gretzky once said, you miss all the shots you don’t take. Which a pretty good dating philosophy, too –so pluck up your courage and say yes instead of no.

3. Avoid self-sabotaging behaviors

Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemies, whether from fear, unresolved trauma, or a belief that we don’t deserve what we want. This can be especially true for people who have never been in a relationship before, as they may feel extra pressure or self-doubt. It’s important to work through these feelings before they actively get in the way of your happiness.

4. Don’t have unrealistic expectations

We’ve all had the checklist for the qualities our dream partner should have, but sticking to that list in real life might well lead to being forever single. While you shouldn’t ignore red flags, letting go of the list can help you find a good match.

5. Be clear about what you want

Being on the same page as your partner is key to a successful relationship. Communicating your expectations and needs right from the start is a great way to ensure you don’t waste time with someone who wants different things than you do.

6. Don’t waste time with relationships that go nowhere

If it’s not working, it’s not working. Don’t fall prey to the sunk cost fallacy and stay in a bad relationship because you’re scared of being single forever. You deserve better and so does your partner – so do both of you a favor and leave.

7. Don’t be unavailable

As a single person, you probably have a full life, between work, your family, friends, and hobbies. But building a good relationship requires effort and time – so it’s important to make space in your life for a new person.

8. Persevere

While love at first sight can happen, it’s much more common for it to take time to build up a romantic connection. Don’t be disheartened if it doesn’t happen right away, or with the first few people you date – good things happen to those who wait.

9. Practice self-reflection

Sometimes, the problem really is you, not the other person. Reflecting on your past relationships can help you understand where you made mistakes and figure out how to do better, when you next start dating.

10. Work on your fear of commitment

Finally, for many people, it’s not that they want to be single forever, it’s that their fear of commitment makes them so. If this sounds like you, it’s something to work on – either by yourself, with the help of a trusted friend, or a mental health professional.

Single or partnered, focus on what makes you happy

It can feel like the world is built for two sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find happiness on your own. In fact, it might even be argued that being comfortable in your own company can lead to a healthier relationship, since you’re not dependent for your emotional needs. If, however, being forever single is not on the cards for you, eharmony is a great choice – we have a diverse pool of eligible singles who are all looking for something authentic with a partner who shares their values. Sign up today and start looking for real love.