Dating Safety Tips
Our Trust & Safety team works hard to ensure you have the best possible experience. We routinely review accounts for inconsistent or suspect behavior. When communicating with or meeting a match, don’t ignore your instincts. You need judgment and intuition to protect yourself in any circumstances.
Use eharmony’s Secure Messaging
Always be wary of someone who immediately wants to move communication off the eharmony platform – maybe suggesting email, WhatsApp or other messaging platforms. Users who don’t have the best intentions will try to take the conversation off eharmony as soon as possible.
Never Share Financial or Private Information
- Never give out your credit card number or bank account information.
- Never share your Social Security Number, mother’s maiden name or other private information like your address that can be used to access your financial information.
- Never send money or goods to anyone.
- eharmony will not call you about your account unless you have already discussed/requested a call back with an agent.
- eharmony will never ask for your full financial details over the phone. You may be asked for the last 4 digits of your payment method to verify that you are the owner of the account.
- In some cases, we will send you a link via email to update your payment details.
- eharmony will never charge you for performing customer care operations.
If a match tries to pressure you for this sort of information, stop communicating immediately and report the user to eharmony. You can see how to report a match here, and this report will go straight to our Trust & Safety team.
Use Your Best Judgment
Always trust your judgment when you’re on eharmony. If you feel a user has bad intentions, it’s better to be safe and pause communication. Here’s a list of common red flags when you’re getting to know someone new:
- Claims to be from the US but is currently living, working or traveling abroad
- Claims they are experiencing an emergency situation that requires your assistance, in either goods (eg, computers or gift cards) or money
- Disappears suddenly from the site then reappears under a different name
- Wants the relationship to progress faster than you are comfortable with
- Messages are poorly written and escalate quickly from introduction to a deeper connection
- Asks inappropriate questions
- Tells inconsistent or exaggerated stories
- Gives vague answers to specific questions
- Urges you to compromise your principles
- Constantly blames others for troubles in his or her life
- Insists on getting overly close, very fast
- Claims to be recently widowed
- Always reach out to our Customer Care team directly from our webpage and not from external sources. We can be reached from this link.
Protect Your Account in Public
When accessing your account from a public or shared computer, be aware of your surroundings so that others are not able to view or record your password or other personal information.
Keep Your Personal Information Safe
- Never include your last name, email address, home address, telephone number, place of work or any other identifying information in your profile or messages during early communication
- Once you’ve given out personal information, you cannot take it back
- eharmony will never ask you to download additional apps or programs
Do Your Research
- We encourage you to do your own research before meeting a match in person. This can include:
- Typing your match’s name into a search engine
- Searching social media profiles, etc.
- Pay attention to the details your match shares with you. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your judgement and stop communicating with them.
Be Careful of URL Links in Emails
- If you receive a message with a link (most commonly asking you to view photos), please know that eharmony does not store photos anywhere except on a user’s profile
- Use good judgment and be cautious when deciding to click on any links. In particular, be aware of links that lead to web pages which look similar or identical to the eharmony homepage, including its log-in fields. These links are typically sent as attempts to “phish” for log-in information in order to compromise user accounts. – Not familiar with “phishing”? Here’s our explainer
- Report any phishing scams to our Trust & Safety team by reporting the user to eharmony. You can view how to report a match here
Meeting For the First Time
Meeting in person is exciting. Have fun and explore the level of chemistry you share with your date while keeping safety as your first priority. These tips can help you feel comfortable when you meet your matches in person:
- Be aware of their behavior before, during and/or after meeting
- For your first few dates, meet in a public place. If your date pressures you to meet at their house or at an isolated place, cancel the date
- Make sure your personal items and drinks are always kept within your view
- When it comes to alcohol and drug consumption, don’t let your date pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with. Know your limits and be confident in your decisions
- Consider avoiding alcohol or other substances that may negatively affect you during a first or second meeting
- Be clear about your boundaries
- Remember, you don’t have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or that you don’t consent to. If your date does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to tell them, or to excuse yourself from the date
- Consider setting an end time for the date
- Be respectful of boundaries
- Verbal and nonverbal communication can be used to communicate boundaries with your match. Remember, that consent can be withdrawn at any point.
- Have your transportation figured out beforehand
- Have a backup plan
- Consider using your own transportation, so you can leave when you want to. Never agree to be picked up at your home and wherever possible, drive yourself or use public transport
- Tell at least one friend or family member about your plans and when you will return. Arrange to check in with them after each of the first few dates
- Carry a fully charged mobile phone with easily accessible emergency numbers
- Know your status
- Talk about it – STIs affect everyone. Know where you and your partner stand. Here’s where you can get tested: https://www.cdc.gov/std/prevention/default.htm#anchor_87100
- Tips to help start the conversation: https://www.cdc.gov/std/saw/pbyt/conversation.htm
Match Termination Notification
If eharmony removes a match/closes an account for suspicious activity, inappropriate behavior or falsified information, you may be notified via email to stop communicating with the match in question. We strongly encourage all of our members to check emails received from eharmony to ensure this communication is received promptly.
Keep It Positive
Not every match is going to be right for you, so closing communication and having matches close communication with you is a natural and healthy part of the process. It can be hard to be rejected or close off communication with someone, but if you do, please be honest, direct and polite.
We encourage you to stay informed and maintain whatever social distancing you feel comfortable with, while still enjoying your search for that someone special. For updated information on Covid-19, please visit the World Health Organization’s website.
If you feel you are in immediate danger, please call 911 or the number of emergency services in your area. Below are resources that can provide advice and support if you’ve had a bad experience with a match. We would like you to report any bad dates or violent incidents to our Trust & Safety team, so that we can take the appropriate action. You can view how to report a match here.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 988 | https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline
Call 800.656.4673 | https://hotline.rainn.org/online
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) | https://www.thehotline.org/
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
1-877-739-3895 | https://www.nsvrc.org/
National Human Trafficking Hotline
1-888-272-7888 or text 233733 I https://humantraffickinghotline.org/
FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center
LGBTQ National Help Center
1-888-843-4564 | https://www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org