Maybe you’ve decided to finally give online dating a try, or maybe you’re just wondering why your matches aren’t responding to your profile. There are a few profile-writing strategies to optimize the likelihood of interest from potential matches.
Here are ten things to never write in an online profile:
1. Never dismiss online dating. Insulting the method — or the people using the method — of finding love that you’re currently giving a try is a huge turn-off. You’ll come across as condescending and judgmental. Don’t bite the hand that might be feeding you your soulmate.
2. Never lie. Ever. Don’t lie about your height, age or weight: you’ll be found out soon enough. Don’t pretend to have a better job than you do, or that you’re more prepared for long-term commitment than you currently are. You don’t need to share all your dirty little secrets in your profile, but you shouldn’t use deception to lure dates either.
3. Never list what you’re looking for money-wise or baby-wise in a relationship. Some things are best left to date #10982.
4. Never use your profile to write about the ex. Or about sex. Keep in mind the rules of first-date conversation and apply them to how you introduce yourself to strangers online, too.
5. Never whine. Don’t whine about your singleness status, about the bad first dates you’ve had lately or about the sad state of politics in your area. Keep your profile upbeat and focused on all the great things you have to offer and are looking for in a new relationship. (Hint: No one’s profile says “seeking bitter pessimist.”)
6. Never ramble. If your profile is ten times longer than everyone else’s, it won’t be given much attention. Be concise, clear, and watch out for typos and grammatical errors.
7. Related to #6: Don’t be too vague or use too many clichéd phrases. Everyone likes “having fun” and would list their musical tastes as “eclectic.” You’re certainly not the only person who “can’t live without oxygen, friends, and family.” Fill your profile with details that reflect you as an individual.
8. Never divulge too much personal information. Your profile is being read by strangers. They shouldn’t be able to identify your specific place of work, home address, last name or personal contact information from your profile. Be careful to screen your photos, too: Don’t upload a pic of yourself in front of your new home, for example.
9. Never indulge the inner narcissist. Don’t demand that your future partner love, worship, and adore you. Don’t list the qualities you believe you “deserve.” Instead, focus on what you have to offer. Related: Don’t provide a list of dating rules or expectations — unless you don’t want anyone to contact you.
10. Never leave things blank. If you can’t put the time into filling out a simple dating profile, why would anyone assume you’d put the time investing into getting to know them? Also cheating: “Not sure what to write here. My friends could better answer this for you.”