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Online Dating 101: Profile

Step 1: Your “About Me” Profile

It can be tricky for even the most word-savvy person to type what they mean and mean who they are in their “About Me” Introductory Information. Some feel that their profile has to sound as catchy as a hot new ad while others may feel they need to sell themselves as someone they’re not. And still, some leave a few areas blank because they’re afraid that what they write may turn matches off from communicating with them, so they don’t include any information at all. But each of these scenarios couldn’t be the furthest from the truth, so don’t give your profile a whole new meaning of “strong, silent type”! Here is a step-by-step guide to help you craft the perfect “About Me” Introductory Information questions that your matches first see to get to know you. Even though you’ve already been brought together by the unique pairing of your compatibilities (which is a great first advantage toward meeting the right kind of people!), it’s essential to let your matches know who you are in your own words to help them get a better sense about whether you two could be the right match. Log in here to your account and click the “Introductory Information” link on the top tab. (One important technical note before you get started: Nothing’s more frustrating than putting your heart and soul into a message and then having it disappear to screen freeze and the notorious back button, so your best bet is to type out what you want to say in a word processing application and save it to your desktop, then cut and paste your final information onto the site.)


1. What are you most passionate about? What are your most important life beliefs, goals or pursuits?

Passion can mean different things to different people. For some, it’s romantic passion—long walks on the beach, roses and chocolates by a roaring fire. For others, their passion is for the activities they like to do, such as cooking, surfing, hiking, dancing, poring through art galleries, reading, computers, playing music, attending live music and theater events, following certain television shows and types of movies and traveling. And still others have passion for larger causes, such as humanitarianism, environmentalism and volunteering.

Merriam-Webster defines “passion” in very easy-to-understand terms, simply: “a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object or concept.” To help you fill out this section, simply jot down or type out the answers to the following questions:

  • What excites you and brings you happiness? Is it an activity, a concept or object?
  • What do you care about? What brings you hope?

To take it one step further and provide an even more in-depth answer to this question, try answering:

  • Why do you think this activity, concept or object excites you or brings you hope?

2. “What are the THREE things for which you are most thankful?”

Just like Question #1 (“What are you most passionate about?”), not everyone approaches this question from the same perspective. Therefore, answers range from a more emotional and introspective approach, such as “The beauty of a new day” and “The ability of life to change” to a more everyday and humorous approach, such as “My morning pot of coffee” and “Falling gas prices,” to more personal answers, such as “My brother/sister, who is my best friend,” and “My job which allows me to do what I love.”

In short, like passion, thankfulness is what you think and feel about it, based on your personality. Here are two things to keep in mind:

  • Don’t be afraid to let your unique perspective shine—if you’re more inclined to view the world from a larger view, let your answers reflect that. Likewise, if you’re more excited about the everyday pleasures of life, include them with pride!
  • If you’re still stuck, one great way to answer this question is to imagine you are talking with someone you are romantically involved with one on one in a relaxed setting—speaking honestly and from the heart, what are you most thankful for?

3. Other than your parents who has been the most influential person in your life, and why?

Throughout our lives we interact with a few people who leave strong impressions on us. They’ve taught us or exposed us to some new idea, experience or way of thinking that changes our world to a degree, and maybe even point our life in a new direction. These special people are often thought about warmly and we tend to value their words of wisdom, kindness or inspiration. Thinking back, who is this person?

4. The four things your friends say about you are:

These answers are auto-populated from those you provided when you took the Relationship Questionnaire, and you are free to change them whenever you wish. Simply click the “Edit” link next to the question, deselect the descriptions you’d like to change, and select four checkboxes that you feel best suit you before saving. Your new selections will now appear on your “About Me” profile.

5. What are three of your best life skills?

These answers are also auto-populated from the answers you provided when you took the Relationship Questionnaire. If you’d like to change them, simply click the “Edit” link next to the question, deselect the descriptions you’d like to change, and select four checkboxes that you feel best suit you before saving. These new selections will now appear on your “About Me” profile.

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6. What are some of the most important qualities that you are looking for in a potential romantic partner?

There are many important positive qualities that one thinks of when envisioning a perfect partner, and eHarmony’s Compatibility Matching System® does the job of matching together based on these qualities. However, in your own words, what are the top qualities you’re seeking in a romantic partner?

7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?

When most people read this question, the first thing that happens is an image of themselves pops into their minds. (Remember, it’s other than your appearance!) What is your best quality that you project to others when you first meet them? Is it your friendliness? Your sense of humor or wit? Your intelligence? Your self-confidence? When someone meets you for the first time, what’s the one nonappearance-related quality about yourself that you think most people notice?

8. What is the ONE thing that people DON’T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?

Is there anything about yourself that you wish was more apparent upon first encounter? You don’t have to be shy to want to project yourself more like a confident and relaxed George Clooney or as a poised and elegant starlet. Maybe you want your sense of humor to stand out a bit more, or perhaps your compassionate nature isn’t readily obvious. And if you’re completely confident already, then great—maybe mention a little bit about why there isn’t something that people don’t notice about you right away that you wish they would. Remember, this “About Me” profile is what your matches will know about you, so share as much about yourself as you can.

9. How do you spend your leisure time typically?

What do you do when you’re not at work? What kinds of activities do you enjoy during the week? How about on the weekends? Are you more athletic or physically active? Do you enjoy outdoor sports? The beach? Hiking in the mountains? Indoor yoga? Spiritual activities? Do you stay close to home and engage in quiet activities like watching TV or clicking away on the Internet? Are you a mall shopper? Do you like to frequent restaurants or coffeehouses? What do you do to relax? Think of anything and everything you enjoy doing that you do on a daily basis that would give someone insight into who you are.

10. What are five things that you “can’t live without?”

Rule #1: even though it might seem clever at first, “food, air, water, shelter and sleep” are not the most interesting information that you can express about the five things you “can’t live without.” In fact, that stock answer can come across as flippant and smug, and may deter matches from considering initiating communication with you. The best kind of answer to this question is to think about the pleasures in life that would change the enjoyment of your life if they were removed. For some it might be chocolate, daily walks, hanging out with their friends and family on a regular basis or their high-speed Internet connection. It’s all personal, all about you, and much more exciting than breaking Rule #1 and stating the obvious.

11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?

There are no right and wrong answers to this question. If you’re not a book person, or are but due to life’s busy demands haven’t been as well read as you would like, then express that. If you’re not into books, but instead like magazines, movies or theater, then share specific details about the last one you read or saw and what you liked about it. This question is your opportunity to express what kind of media and entertainment you most enjoy—so take advantage of it!

12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.

This question isn’t necessarily asking you to divulge your deepest secrets (unless you really want to!), and is an opportunity to describe the kind of bonds you have with your closest friends. With close bonds comes the ability to be oneself openly, and as such, friends have the unique chance to see us at our best and at our worst. Do you have an experience to share? What qualities in yourself do you think your friends cherish?

13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?

This is a great place to add anything that you feel is important or interesting about yourself that was not covered in the above 12 questions. Sometimes it can be a bit challenging to think of more facts about yourself after having filled out the rest of your profile, but often this is the last thing a match sees before deciding to make first contact (or not), so you may want to consider sharing something conversation- or thought-provoking; maybe even quirky. Think of it like a “little known fact” about you that might impress someone or make them smile. Did you win the fourth grade Spelling Bee? Do you have a secret penchant for karaoke? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t yet?

Your answers can be revised at any time, so feel free to polish your profile from time to time to make sure it is in its best shape. The more in-depth and personalized your profile, the better your first impression will be, and the better your matches’ perception of who you are, the better your eHarmony experience will be.

On to Step 2: Your Photos