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The Best Dating Advice for Women Looking for Love

by eharmony Editorial Team - November 22, 2023

Dating life for women in this modern age brings quite a few challenges with it. Above that the one big question for many single women is how to find the one partner that suits them. And while the data says that women have an advantage on dating apps due to their lower numbers1, this doesn’t make it any easier to find the answer to that question. We look at some useful dating advice for women of all sexualities, address some specific dating questions for certain women, dating rules and how to build deep connections with the right people.       

Here are some general tips and dating advice for women that can help you get more attention from the singles you’re interested in and how to nurture connections into lasting happy relationships.

Tip 1: Put yourself out there

While it’d be nice, it’s unrealistic to expect to find the right partner in your first few relationships. A study in conjunction with the paperback release of the bestselling relationship novel The Rosie Project found that on average women will kiss 15 people, go through two relationships and suffer two heartbreaks before they find the one2. But it all starts with being more available. So be more socially active and when you meet someone you like, make your interest known. Also, learn to enjoy the dating process, both the ups and downs, because somewhere along that string of dates is your ideal partner.   

Tip 2: Learn to communicate

A must-have on any list of dating tips for women (and men) is communication. You can’t hope to build a solid relationship if you aren’t telling each other what you expect from it. From your boundaries to your inner dreams, share these with your partner early and often so they can not only get to know and love the real you, but also understand how  you think. When it comes to possible moments of conflict, it’s important to communicate constructively. Be assertive, not aggressive. Don’t use your words as weapons or overwhelm them with complaints becausethat will just make them close off. Work on healthy and helpful ways to let your partner know when they crossed a line so you can resolve it amicably and move on. The best relationships are built on these kinds of compromises.  

Tip 3: Embrace your sexuality

Female sexuality is an endlessly unique and distinct aspect of our society. And it’s often one that can be stifled or maligned by society too, which is toxic. Female sexuality and the various benefits it holds, should not only be embraced but used to bring value to your life and relationships. This doesn’t just entail sex itself – as values regarding that differ from woman to woman – but embracing your feminine charms, while also making sure you don’t use your sexuality to manipulate or sabotage situations. It’s crucial you never repress your sexuality just to suit someone else in a relationship. Look for a good relationship where your sexuality is treasured, not tolerated.

Tip 4: Know your worth

This is a key piece of dating advice for women if you want to attract the right people: don’t accept partners that don’t reflect or appreciate your worth, in fact you should  properly express your value. This isn’t about seeking physical perfection (which doesn’t exist) but putting a statement out to the world that you put effort into yourself, and they’ll have to as well if they want to be with you. Some easy ways to do this are to maintain some kind of exercise and skincare regimen, be style-conscious, have healthy eating habits, and maintain good grooming standards.      

Tip 5: Learn to love well

Most of the positive qualities that drive a healthy relationship can be summed up as learning to ‘love well’. Loving well is about being honest, communicating feelings openly and kindly, being vulnerable and asking for forgiveness, having open channels of communication and setting healthy boundaries. A global survey was conducted in 2018 where they asked people what traits they found attractive in a long-term partner. Both men and women selected kindness and supportiveness as the top two by an overwhelming majority3. This doesn’t mean you have to be positive in the relationship all the time or never fight – that’s also very unhealthy. It just means you should try to keep interactions constructive and respectful.

Tip 6: Be mature

When it comes to good dating tips for women, maturity from both parties can’t be overstated. Maturity is about knowing when not to sweat the small stuff and keeping your eye on the bigger picture, bearing through hard times in the relationship and letting your desires develop naturally with your love. It’s also about knowing when not to share your feelings. While communication is vital, some of your frustrations and issues don’t need to be expressed to your partner, either because it will cause temporary issues or because they might cause more pain than healing. It can sometimes be challenging to distinguish the two but friends’ perspectives on the issue can help guide you in this area.

Tip 7: Don’t be their caretaker

This piece of dating advice for women is about valuing yourself over your partner early on so you can have a more evenly balanced and healthy relationship down the line. You also weed out potentially toxic relationships before they take root in your heart. Women tend to be natural caretakers, but your partner is not your child. Don’t make a habit of doing things for them that they can do for themselves. Look after yourself first while still being available as a source of support for them, but never a crutch. Worthwhile partners will respect you for it and it’ll become a natural part of your relationship structure.

Tip 8: Keep your options open

This isn’t about juggling five partners at once but rather about keeping your level of emotional investment realistically in line with your relationship level. If your first few dates go really well, don’t already start imagining the house you’ll share and cut off all contact with other active dating prospects. People can be fickle and if they unceremoniously decide to move on, you don’t want to be left holding the emotional bag with no romantic opportunities. Keep your expectations grounded and ease into the relationship. If you’re in doubt, have a frank conversation with them about the state of the relationship.

Tip 9: Don’t overanalyze

When looking at dating rules for women, this is a good one for those who tend to overthink situations. It’s not unusual either. Research suggests 73% of young adults chronically overthink4. Trying to figure out and analyze your date’s every statement, mysterious gesture and text response (or lack thereof) is not only pointless and emotionally draining for you, but it can make you actively push away partners or sabotage the relationship as a defense mechanism. Try to live in the moment when dating and embrace the unexpected. Once again, if you’re finding their behavior overwhelming, talk to them and set a boundary.  

Tip 10: Don’t settle

This piece of dating advice for women speaks to knowing your worth. Often when we feel lonely or romantically unfulfilled, we become more active in finding someone. This is good but it can often come at the cost of our standards, accepting less than we deserve out of desperation. Women tend to date down more due to certain societal expectations and the absurd notion that they have a shelf life. But you’re not running out of time and it’s never too late to find someone you deserve, so show bad candidates the door and move on to the next date. The US has never had more single people in every age group than it has today5. And while single women outnumber other groups past 30, you’re at the wheel of your dating life. You’re not a statistic, you’re a person with your own unique romantic journey.

Tip 11: Command respect from the start

How you behave and the boundaries you set early on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. Bad relationships are often not the fault of a doomed connection but rather that partners didn’t communicate their issues early enough and then fell into a behavioral rut. The early dating and honeymoon period is a hard time to be tough and assertive but it’s still vital. If they’re late for a date or break an arrangement without a good reason, let them know there and then that it’s unacceptable before it becomes ingrained. And remember, if it’s important enough to you, it’s never invalid. It’s up to the other person to decide whether they can make that compromise.

Woman with sunglasses smiles as a symbol for dating advice for women

Dating advice for women:
the top 3 questions singles ask

As we monitor emerging dating trends as well as the general landscape of dating content for single women – and specifically online dating tips for women – we’ve noticed that three questions keep cropping up that deal directly with how the dating scene has shifted in recent years.    

1. How can women deal with the pressure to conform to traditional gender roles in dating and relationships?

Gender roles have been a hot topic in the media within this modern era. But this is an article about dating advice for women, not a political piece.

This seems like a compatibility issue that’s an early red flag. If you’re the type of woman who has very progressive views on gender roles, you’ll likely never find true happiness with someone with very traditional views on it, or vice versa, since one of you will end up feeling like you compromised too many of your core values.

If your values only have a slight mismatch, it may be worth negotiating a compromise without feeling like you betrayed your gender, as long as it’s acknowledged and respected. 

2. What is some dating advice for women who are shy or nervous when it comes to dating?

The first thing you should know is shyness is not an unattractive trait. It can often come across as cool and mysterious. However, it will get in the way of you getting the partner you want every time.

Embrace your shyness and use it to your advantage. Use non-verbal signals to indicate your interest. Even looking their way a few times or a quick smile can draw someone in. What’s important is not to let your shyness get in the way when they do approach you. Show that you’re interested in what they’re saying, give positive affirmations when you can’t think of what to say and take things at your pace, like continuing the conversation over text, for instance. 

3. What are some common mistakes that women make when dating, and how can they avoid them?

Common mistakes to avoidOur Dating Advice for Women
You don’t know what you’re looking for.Always have a clear set of goals before you start dating.
Many people mention their exes on dates.Once is fine but if you do it too much, the other person is just going to think you’re emotionally unavailable for a relationship. 
In terms of online dating tips for women, don’t always wait for them to make the first move.Go after what you want.  
Thinking you can change someoneIf you see a definitive red flag, let the relationship go. People aren’t projects and they can only change so much.
Talking too much about yourself.Keep the focus balanced. While this is commonly a male foible, many women can also forget there are two people on the date

Find your own path to the right person to love

While this is all useful dating advice for women, there are so many ways for you to forge a strong and fulfilling relationship with your partner but most of them you’re going to learn as you go along. After all, no two love stories are the same. But approaching your connection at a healthy pace with open communication, respect and a solid idea of your value is a great way to give your budding romance a push in the right direction.

eharmony is the premium destination for relationship-seeking singles of all orientations looking for more from their online dating efforts. Beyond being the No. 1 trusted dating app6 our approach to matching is based on a psychological approach to compatibility resulting in more well-suited dates and happier connections. Give us a try today and find out.    

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