Ladies: Eight Key Qualities to Look for in a Guy
Today’s guest blog is from YourTango relationship expert Alex Matlock, who identifies the key traits in a man that all women should consider…
When searching for that special someone in the dating world, it’s always good to have an image of what he should be like. I didn’t start out by coaching women in their love lives; I started out coaching men. It’s funny when I think about it, because what women want from a man is what I was trying to teach them all along.
In any case, there are quite a few qualities that make a man great. In reality, looking for a guy who has these qualities is not as hard as people say. But if you want to have a higher chance of finding love, identify the ones that matter to you most and stick with them. In my personal opinion, all men should have these qualities and I don’t associate with nor respect ones that don’t.
1. He’s a gentleman. A great guy needs to be polite, respectful, considerate, and attentive to a woman’s needs. This includes classic gentleman behavior such as pulling out a woman’s chair, walking on the car side of the street and taking her coat. I personally believe that if all men were gentlemen, we would live in a better world. Today, this is far from the truth, so guys who do have this quality stand out. It’s also worth noting that great guys never cross the line of being inappropriate.
2. He’s direct. Many men believe that if they constantly have a “whatever” attitude, women will suddenly fall in love with them. This is completely bogus. Would you like to spend time with a guy who constantly dodges direct questions and shrugs instead of giving you an answer? A great guy should look straight into your eyes when he’s talking to you, and to look and seem genuinely interested in what you have to say. He should have good diction, and engage in conversation with an active attitude. Any guy who isn’t direct is weak. You shouldn’t settle for weak.
3. He’s faithful. Faithfulness may be one of the most important characteristics when it comes to great men. Although you can never know for sure if this is the case, if you know he’s been a cheater, it’s best to stay away from him.
4. He has integrity. Having integrity is another very important characteristic that makes a great man. Integrity means he will stay true to his word and to himself. Integrity and ambition are also often enough to convince a woman that a man will eventually be financially sound, even if he isn’t. Men with integrity are highly respected and in return, they give respect to others. Since they have a high moral compass, they want others who share their values. Also, these men often show courage because they are required to stand up for their beliefs at all times
5. He’s honest. A truly honest man will tell you the truth and not just what you want to hear. An honest man will not use sleazy stories to make himself look good, but he will tell you exactly how he feels about something. Sure, brutal honesty can be offensive sometimes, but it’s better to have a guy who tells you the truth than one who fills you with lies.
6. He’s mature. Being mature means a man is able to take care of himself and approaches problems in a calm and collected manner. He understands the importance of being a man, is independent, and values what he has. A mature guy doesn’t have to be rich, but needs to know how to handle his money. It’s true that men mature later in life, but I’m sure you’ve met at least one guy who acts like he’s in high school even though he’s over 30. It’s easy to tell if a guy is mature by the way he lives his life. Ideally, he should live by himself but some might still stay with a roommate. He should under no circumstances live with his parents. I’ve been living by myself since the age of 19 and laugh when I realize just how many of my friends (over 25) still live with their parents. Also, a mature man is able to carry himself in a respectable manner in a public setting and understands his adult role.
7. He’s self-confident. A good man is confident in himself and who he is. This is an important characteristic because when a man is self-confident, he is less likely to change who he is, and he will stay true to himself. A man with self-confidence will not be deterred from what he believes to be true and will not be easily pressured into doing things that he does not believe in. Self-confidence makes a man happy and fun to be around because he will not be constantly questioning himself or others around him.
8. He has a positive attitude. A good man should have a positive attitude, which may be difficult to find since we live in such a negative society. With a positive attitude, people will want to be around him and to have fun around him. A good man will be happy with his life and the world around him, and he will want to look out for others and help them. Positive people are usually quite different from negative people, and they tend to smile and laugh more. You will know if a man has a positive attitude by how he carries himself. He will be upbeat and look for the good in things and people. A negative person will always be complaining and seeing the bad side to everything, and after awhile they can be very hard to be around since they turn others around them into negative people. A positive man is always smiling and brightening up your day.
Remember, you don’t have to look for a man that has all of these qualities (although that would be ideal). But stick to the ones that are most important to you, and you’ll find Mr. Right sooner than you think.