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Is the Crush Mutual? How to Tell if a Guy Likes You

by Nadine Kalinauskas
How to Tell if a Guy Likes You

Figuring out if someone likes you can be an exercise in frustration. Some deciphering advice actually champions complicated signs: He likes you if he ignores you, makes fun of you, avoids eye contact and generally behaves as if he doesn’t like you. We’re not putting much stock in that confusing behavior.

If you’re wondering if your crush might like you back — And why wouldn’t he? — here are a few ways to know for sure.

He talks to you — intentionally

Anyone can make small talk at a dinner party. But does your crush initiate the conversation? Does he ask questions and try to keep the conversation going? If a guy likes you, he’ll try to talk to you — even if it means making an up an excuse to start chatting

He cares about what you have to say

Does he listen to your answers? Does he remember the details? If a guy likes you, he actively wants to get to know you, and is likely desperate to find things you two have in common. If he can bring up something you mentioned three conversations ago — maybe he teases you about your favorite sports team losing last night — he’s paying close attention to what you’re saying.

He compliments you

Not every guy notices when a girl gets her hair cut. If he comments on your pretty smile or gushes over your dinner-party contribution, he wants you to feel special. (Note: Some guys are notorious flirts. This only applies if the guy is singling you out and not complimenting every female to cross his path)

He tries to impress you — and isn’t quite himself around you

If you can tell that he’s putting out a lot of effort — he’s acting a little nervous, bragging a little about himself, agreeing with almost everything you say, talking too fast — he’s trying to make you see that he’s great boyfriend potential. Don’t be put off by the nervous energy. He’s just riding high on dopamine when he’s around you.

He doesn’t want to stop talking to you

Is he actively keeping the conversation going? Do his text messages always end with questions so you don’t stop chatting? At a noisy party, does he try to move the conversation to a quieter spot? Does he ignore his phone when you’re together? Does he say he has to leave but then finds it hard to actually walk out the door? Yeah, he likes you.

His body language gives himself away

The old adage is (often) true: Actions speak louder than words. When you’re together, does he make strong eye contact? Do his feet point in your direction? Maybe he leans in to listen to you, even if the room is quiet. Or he looks for an excuse to touch your arm or shoulder. Body language is often a big giveaway when it comes to figuring out if a guy likes you.

He lends a hand — and lends out his stuff

If the cute guy at the gym is volunteering to help you move next weekend, he might have a crush on you. If a guy is willing to go out of his way for not apparent reason but to help you out, he probably sees that time as a crush-investment. And if he starts lending you his favorite books, he’s ensuring that you have to keep connecting. (You have to return it, right? And then probably talk about it over coffee? And then go see the film adaptation…)

He shows up everywhere

If your cute coworker is swinging by your desk more often than usual, showing up at the same bar for happy hour, or popping up everywhere your mutual friends are, there might be some friendly crush-stalking going on.

He adds you on social media

Speaking of stalking, if your crush adds you on Facebook — assuming he’s not just a cyber-friends collector — he wants to be friends outside of the social setting you met in. If he starts chatting with you online, he’s probably into you.

He says so

Some signs are obvious: He asks you if you’re single. He asks for your number. He mentions — more than once — that you should “hang out sometime” and do that thing you both have in common. If he’s hinting at dates or how the two of you would be a great couple, you don’t have to guess anymore: he likes you.

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