Love is a beautiful thing, until it fades away. To help avoid this, here’s a list of sure-fire relationship killers—from laziness to excessive criticism. On the flip side—attention, communication, and creativity fuel the sparks that can keep your connection ablaze. Just make sure she knows how much she means to you—show and tell—and those simple things will make a lasting impact. We wanted you to hear it straight from the ladies, and they have spoken. Here are eight main reasons why they lose that lovin’ feeling…and some tips on what to do to keep you from being “that guy”.
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1) The Honeymoon is Over
Some lovely ladies aren’t the most realistic—they expect life to be sunshine and roses 24/7. After the newness of love begins to fade, and the focus is often on paying bills, work or other responsibilities, they lose interest. Reality bites–just a little too much for some poor souls, unfortunately. It’s likely that in these cases, the women have some serious growing up to do.
2) They Stop Feeling Adored
Feeling appreciated, acknowledged and special is super important for women, who often balance and juggle so many things in life. Women are moms, businesswomen, housekeepers, cooks, caretakers, etc. While many women say they love doing it all and wouldn’t have it any other way – feeling adored by their partner makes it all worth it. Often times men will express their feelings of gratitude in the beginning, but get complacent after the novelty of the new relationship wears off. Compliments and recognition are two things women love…forever, guys!
3) We’ve Changed (It’s Not You, It’s Me!)
The fact is, what women want in their twenties differs greatly with what they are looking for in their thirties, forties and beyond. While the hard-to-get bad boy is thrilling and a real challenge when one is younger, it is the genuine, loyal guy that most of us will fall in love with later on, when security is also a priority. There’s something to be said about waiting a bit to settle down–at least until you know yourself pretty darn well.
4) Emotional Disconnect
There is a common thread through many of these reasons, and it is poor communication–or none at all. It is crucial that partners remain connected and make each other a priority. Getting distracted by daily life does happen, but one should always seek to bring it back to what matters most–the love between the two people. We all need to feel loved and when we don’t, some of us will shut down and eventually the love fades away.
“We’ve gotten into the worst rut. We do the same things every weekend. He never has any ideas or takes any initiative to plan anything.” We heard this several times from frustrated ladies who were sensing a complete lack of interest or passion from their mates. To keep a relationship thriving, you’ve got to keep it interesting and put some thought and energy into it. What’s that they say about tending to the garden? Well, it’s true.
6) Wherefore Art Thou Chemistry?
Some women get addicted to that initial stage–the warm feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know you are going to see your love. As anyone knows who has been in a relationship long enough, chemistry often fades, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but for some that means it’s time to move on. It may not be the most mature point of view, but it’s a choice women make when the sparks have dwindled.
7) Loss of Independence
There is such a thing as “healthy separateness” in a relationship. It’s important that both women and men retain their own friends, own activities and personal interests after they get together. When your partner becomes the end-all-be-all, they also may make you incredibly resentful at what you have given up to be with them. The best couples figure out how to maintain their own identities as individuals as well.
8) Constant Criticism
It creeps into a relationship, eventually killing any warm and loving feelings a woman might have for her guy. The constant need to nit-pick and criticize every little thing she is doing “wrong” will usually a) knock the wind out of her sails until she feels depleted and then b), she is going to start caring less about putting any effort into the relationship until c) she realizes she must protect herself and self-esteem, and heads for the door. There really is something to be said for, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything.”
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