132 Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl

Flirting with people, even when it’s casual, is what separates a normal conversation from one with a distinctly charged romantic energy. Having a good collection of flirty questions to ask a girl during interactions is essential to properly conveying your attraction to a woman and creating the right atmosphere on a date. 

The best flirty questions to ask a girl do more than express attraction. They generate it. This is because people who are good at flirting often seem more confident, outgoing, creative and inviting, which are traits women generally find attractive. Flirty questions can also make a date or interaction a more rewarding experience because they generate sexual tension – sometimes adding an openly flirtatious tone to conversation – and create a playful energy where both of you can feel more at ease, open up to each other and feel comfortable expressing your feelings.

However, when you’re coming up with flirty questions to ask a woman, it’s important to have ones that range from being subtle and lightly flirtatious to ones that strongly indicate your feelings. Flirting is a great way to generate intimacy and attraction but only when that energy is reciprocal, and flirting is appropriate to the moment. The subtle questions are where you start testing the waters to see if they’re open to flirting back. If you’re too forward or pushy with flirty questions, it can often have the opposite effect, dampening the mood and making you seem socially awkward. However, finding the right balance isn’t as difficult as you might imagine. Let’s look at different types of flirty questions and when to use them.

Good flirty questions to ask a girl

What’s considered a good flirty question can often vary from woman to woman. The ideal flirty questions to ask a girl tend to aim for a comfortable middle ground between casual and serious flirting, are lightly humorous so she doesn’t feel like she’s being put on the spot and gives them the option of responding without necessarily having to flirt back. Remember that questions aren’t the only way to flirt. There are compliments, non-verbal cues, flirtatious social gestures and a range of other options.

It’s a common myth that men are the ones who have to begin flirting. A study in the Perceptual and Motor Skills journal found that in a common social setting, like a bar, women initiated flirting 70% of the time.¹ Being the one to take the initiative and ask a good flirty question can often separate you from other romantic options, build sexual tension earlier and express a relaxed confidence in conversation.     Here are some examples you can use. But try to shape them around the girl you’re talking to.

1. What’s your idea of the perfect romantic evening?
2. What’s the most flattering compliment someone could give you?
3. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
4. What’s your favorite way for someone to show affection?
5. If someone wanted to impress you, what small gesture would work best?
6. What’s your go-to outfit when you want to feel confident?
7. What’s your favorite way to spend time with someone you’re into?
8. What makes you feel most appreciated in a relationship?
9. What’s something subtle that instantly makes you attracted to someone?
10. If we were on a date right now, what would make it unforgettable?
11. What’s your favorite type of compliment—words, looks, or actions?

Flirty ice breaker questions to ask a girl

Flirty ice breaker questions in dating are how you can first spark a romantic energy in the conversation. Flirty Ice breakers are different from other questions in that their goal isn’t just to generate a topic of conversation but also to ease any tension and add a flirtatious tone to the exchange going forward.    

Having just the right flirty ice breaker question for dating can help you steer a date from the generally light banter that occupies the early stages of dates and interactions toward more romantic territory. These are generally quite subtle because you’re just beginning to introduce romance into the dynamic, so it works out better when you start small.

You may want to avoid flirty conversation starters and ice breakers right off the bat if you don’t know the girl well. Try to create a friendly and comfortable vibe to start off with. Once you’ve got some rapport, you can try one of these ice breakers to see if they’re open to flirting back. 

1. What’s the smoothest way someone’s ever started a conversation with you?
2. If I challenged you to a playful bet, what would we be betting on?
3. What’s your go-to move to flirt back when someone flirts with you?
4. What’s a fun way to break the ice on a date without sounding cheesy?
5. If we were strangers sitting next to each other right now, what would you say first?
6. What’s the funniest pickup line that actually made you laugh?
7. Do you think teasing is a good way to flirt?
8. What’s your favorite type of playful conversation?
9. If someone texted you something mysterious, what would make you reply immediately?
10. What’s your idea of a fun first impression?

Serious flirty questions to ask a girl

These are those deep flirty questions you ask a girl to express your interest in someone while simultaneously engaging with them on a deeper, more intellectual level. These questions are often quite obviously flirtatious but with greater emotional distance, allowing you both to explore the notion of romance and relationships without revealing your true feelings.  

It tells them you’re not only interested in what’s outside but how they look at the world, what makes them tick and the passions that drive their spirit. While it can be challenging to be humorous and playful with serious flirty questions, what you lose in that area, you gain in coming across as mature, curious and thoughtful.  

You should be more sparing with these than you are with most other types of flirty questions or it may begin to feel like you’re interviewing them for the job of being your future girlfriend. Deep flirty questions like the ones below feel the most natural when you’re already talking about their life or dating in general. 

1. What does chemistry feel like to you when it’s real?
2. Do you think attraction grows over time, or is instant?
3. What kind of emotional connection makes you fall harder for someone?
4. What’s your favorite way to build tension with someone you like?
5. How do you usually let someone know you’re interested in them?
6. What’s the biggest green flag you notice in a person?
7. Do you think eye contact says more than words can?
8. What’s something meaningful you find sexy?
9. How important is humor when it comes to attraction for you?
10. What makes a moment feel intimate to you?

Flirty questions to ask a girl to make her blush

These are openly flirtatious or sexually charged with the express goal of flattering and leaving her feeling slightly befuddled. For this reason, you normally would only use these kinds of flirty questions to ask a girl when you already have a somewhat established connection and have lightly flirted in the past. But sometimes your chemistry with a woman is instant and palpable. Asking these questions can really help bring that energy out into the open.

When someone blushes, it’s an unconscious, unmistakable signal of emotional arousal. But it goes hand in hand with embarrassment, as an aftereffect.² That is, we find blushing to be at once exciting and also sort of scary. A handy way to mitigate this is by keeping the tone casual and humorous, so they don’t feel too vulnerable, while having follow-up comments and questions that make the focus on them less intense.  Because it’s a bit of a social gamble, you likely only want to use these types of flirty questions once or twice during any given interaction. Here are a few examples you can start with.

1. If I whispered something in your ear, what would you hope it was?
2. What’s something you find attractive that other people usually don’t?
3. What’s a compliment that would make you smile for the rest of the day?
4. What’s a subtle thing someone can do that completely gets your attention?
5. If I said you looked gorgeous right now, would you believe me or think I’m flirting?
6. What’s a random thing someone can do that makes your heart skip a beat?
7. What’s your idea of a perfect first kiss moment?
8. If I told you I can’t stop smiling when I talk to you, how would you respond?
9. What kind of look or smile completely melts you?
10. What’s a flirty text that would make your day instantly better?

Funny flirty questions are all about balancing humor and romantic tension so that they positively express your growing feelings while keeping things light so that the girl doesn’t feel like she has to respond in kind. The great thing about humor is that it has a host of social benefits on various psychological levels. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that laughing together is a powerful bonding mechanism and that people associate it with future social rewards, like intimacy and relationship satisfaction.³

By coming up with a few very funny questions to ask a girl beforehand, you’ll be more prepared to shift from normal conversation to one with a distinctly romantic tone and have greater flexibility if one of your flirty questions doesn’t quite land.

You can use funny and flirty questions quite often in an interaction but not so much that it makes you seem like you’re not taking it seriously at all. Try one of these examples in your next interaction and gauge her reaction.

1. What’s the funniest dating fail you’ve ever had?
2. If we were characters in a rom-com, what would our most awkward scene be?
3. What’s the cheesiest pickup line that actually made you laugh?
4. If we had to rate our flirting skills from 1–10, who would score higher?
5. What’s something ridiculously funny someone did to impress you?
6. If I dared you to make me blush, what would you say?
7. What’s your favorite kind of inside joke with someone you like?
8. If I made you laugh during an argument, would you forgive me faster?
9. What’s a flirty joke that always works on you?
10. If we had to describe each other using memes, what would yours for me be?

Flirty questions to ask a girl you like

When you really like a girl, the social stakes can feel a lot higher, which can make you less daring when it comes to being flirty. But as the proverb goes: nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can start off modestly with some questions to ask your crush that are more playful than directly flirtatious.

If you’re a little apprehensive about flirting face-to-face, you can always come up with some flirty questions to ask the girl over text and see if she responds neutrally, positively or negatively. The status quo is often a comfortable place to be socially. However, by putting yourself out there by asking your crush flirty questions, you’re not simply making your feelings more obvious but also asking her to look at you from a different perspective that she may not have considered before.    

You can use these questions fairly regularly if you’re getting a positive response. If not, continuing would be awkward. If being subtle doesn’t get through to them, you may have to be more upfront about your feelings. Here are flirty questions to get you started. 

1. What’s something you noticed about me the first time we met?
2. Do you think we’d get along better on a cozy night in or a spontaneous adventure?
3. What’s something about me you’re curious to know more about?
4. If I asked you on a date right now, what would your ideal plan be?
5. What’s your favorite way to flirt with someone you genuinely like?
6. Do you think chemistry is more about conversation or connection?
7. What’s something you find incredibly charming in someone’s personality?
8. What kind of date would make you say, ‘Wow, that was perfect’?
9. If I sent you a flirty text right now, what would your reply look like?
10. What’s your favorite way to spend time with someone you’re into?

Flirty questions to ask your girlfriend

These are the kind of flirty questions you’d ask someone you’re already in an active relationship with. They are likely to be less subtle and more overt without crossing any boundaries – like including physical touch or gushing compliments – and because we feel a lot more assured that it’ll be received positively.   

By devising some flirty questions to ask the girl that you’re dating, you convey a continued deep interest and desire to understand her. This helps keep the romance passionate, even as your relationship develops over time. Flirtatious questions allow you to strengthen your bond by making the flirtation a two-way street, making you both more open, vulnerable and thoughtful toward each other.

Studies have shown that healthy flirting in long-term relationships tends to be more relational than sexual.⁴ Try to make your questions highly personal instead of spicy. You can and should flirt with your partner daily to build intimacy, but it’s also a good idea to just show them you’re thinking of them and express appreciation.

Try one of these questions to get you started:

1. What’s something I do that always makes you smile?
2. When was the first time you knew you liked me?
3. What’s your favorite way for me to flirt with you?
4. What’s your favorite romantic memory of us?
5. What’s something about me that never fails to make you laugh?
6. If I planned a surprise date, what would you secretly hope it included?
7. What’s your favorite part about our connection?
8. What’s the sweetest compliment I’ve ever given you?
9. What’s something you wish I’d do more often?
10. If we could spend a day doing anything together, what would you choose?
11. What’s your favorite flirty moment between us so far?

This or that flirty questions to ask a girl

This or that questions are very close-ended. You ask them to steer you towards topics that are more personalized to the woman you’re talking to. For instance, you could ask them if they enjoy holidays in tropical destinations or culturally important cities. The answer to this will give you an immediate insight into how they’d ideally spend their free time, which you can use to think up more engaging open-ended questions going forward.   

Making up some flirty questions to ask a woman you’re interested in can be particularly useful when the topics you’ve been talking about don’t seem to be particularly engaging for either of you. A this or that question can give you a quick idea of how to get things back on track. 

Because of their limited nature, you should only ask these questions to get the conversation started, refresh one whose energy is dipping or pivot away from a topic that isn’t evoking particularly enthusiastic responses. Try one of these next time you’re talking to a woman you’re interested in.

1. Romantic dinner date or spontaneous adventure?
2. Sweet text or flirty phone call?
3. Slow dancing or playful banter?
4. Holding hands or stealing glances?
5. Compliments or teasing?
6. Sunset walks or late-night talks?
7. Playful flirting or deep conversations?
8. Surprise date or planned getaway?
9. Witty humor or smooth charm?
10. Long hugs or lingering eye contact?
11. Cute nicknames or secret inside jokes?
12. Candlelit dinner or picnic under the stars?
13. Chill weekend or exciting night out?
14. Romantic movies or funny sitcoms together?
15. Texting goodnight or waking up to a message in the morning?

Spicy questions to ask a girl

Spicy questions are intensely flirtatious and even sometimes a bit sexual. They put any notion of subtlety aside and speak directly to your attraction and chemistry. Those questions express a strong, committed interest and help you gain perspective on her inner self, how she approaches intimacy and her dating style.

It can sometimes feel challenging to come up with very flirty questions to ask a girl you’re seeing because they feel quite bold. But being more overt with flirting can often help introduce a new communication dynamic and take your relationship to the next level. However, it’s probably a good idea to start with mildly spicy questions and then turn up the heat if they respond positively.

You should only start asking spicy questions once you have an established connection and have been at least somewhat physically intimate – such as kissing or extended touching – or it may come across as inappropriate. Here are some examples that you can use to guide how spicy they should be initially.

1. What’s a small, subtle thing that turns you on instantly?
2. What’s your favorite type of kiss—slow or playful?
3. What’s your go-to move to flirt when you’re feeling bold?
4. Do you prefer words, touches, or glances to build tension?
5. What’s your idea of irresistible chemistry?
6. What’s something you find sexy that isn’t usually considered sexy?
7. If you could design the perfect date to set the mood, what would it include?
8. What’s a secret fantasy you have?
9. What kind of confidence instantly grabs your attention?
10. What’s your favorite type of flirty compliment?
11. Do you like when someone takes the lead?
12. What’s a scent or sound you love?
13. What’s the sexiest line someone could whisper to you?
14. Do you think mystery makes flirting more exciting?
15. What’s a playful way to turn a casual night into something unforgettable?

Flirty questions to ask an older woman

When it comes to mature women and dating, you may be wondering if your flirty questions should be adapted for an older, more established woman. To a degree, yes. A recent study showed that older singles generally prefer a gentler approach, based on things like compliments and flirtatious humor.⁵ Also, if they aren’t dating as actively as younger singles, they may be a bit out of practice, so start slow. Focus more on conveying maturity and finding common ground.

This is when flirty questions can really help because they place the focus on her but in a way that isn’t overwhelming or possibly embarrassing, while getting to understand her better. Flirtatious questions give women an out. They’re more of an invitation to flirt back, which she can choose to handle casually or even politely ignore. But it puts the ball in her court, which shows confidence and respect. Here are some questions that are ideally suited for when you’re romantically approaching an older woman. 

1. What’s something you’ve learned about attraction over the years?
2. What’s a quality that never fails to draw your attention?
3. Do you think confidence gets more attractive with age?
4. What’s your favorite way to be pursued or flirted with?
5. What’s a type of humor you find irresistible in someone younger?
6. What’s something a younger partner could learn from you about romance?
7. What’s a flirty compliment that actually feels genuine to you?
8. What’s one thing you think people misunderstand about mature attraction?
9. What makes you feel effortlessly sexy?
10. What’s your favorite way to unwind and feel confident?
11. What do you think is more powerful—subtle flirting or bold moves?
12. What kind of chemistry do you find most fulfilling now?
13. What’s something you find deeply attractive beyond looks?
14. How do you like someone to make you laugh?
15. What’s a gesture that still makes you swoon, no matter your age?

Flirty questions to ask a girl on dating apps

Flirty dating app questions are the kind of questions that are designed to forge a connection through text conversation, which can often feel more impersonal. With these services, it often pays to be more direct and distinct with your questions. People who connect on dating apps are motivated to find a romantic connection and flirting can be a great way to make your intentions clear.

Creating a consistent two-way exchange isn’t just important. It’s the fundamental notion these services are built on. A good set of flirty questions to ask a woman when using dating apps keeps the conversation flowing by arousing her interest and creating a natural space for her to respond. The great thing here is you can be a little cheesy, silly or playful because the communication dynamic on dating apps tends to be more flexible.

You can start asking flirty questions or even use one as an initial ice breaker if you’re feeling confident. But they’re most effective after you’ve developed a warmer rapport. Try one of these questions next time you want to flirt with a woman online.

1. What’s the funniest message you’ve ever received on here?
2. What’s a small detail in someone’s profile that instantly catches your eye?
3. If I were planning our first date, what would make it perfect for you?
4. What’s your favorite way to keep a conversation flirty but fun?
5. What’s your ideal mix of humor and charm in a message?
6. If your bio could talk, what would it say about your personality?
7. What’s your favorite emoji to use when you’re flirting?
8. What’s a question you secretly wish people would ask on here?
9. If I sent you a corny pickup line, would you laugh or roll your eyes?
10. What’s your favorite way to turn an online chat into a real-life connection?
11. What kind of message makes you want to reply right away?
12. What’s a green flag for you when chatting online?
13. What’s your go-to ‘test’ to see if someone’s actually funny?
14. What’s something flirty you’ve always wanted to say but never dared to type?
15. If I asked you out right now, what kind of first date would make you say yes?

What are the best tips for asking a girl flirty questions?

As you can tell, the ways to approach flirtatious questions are myriad. Let’s look at some tips on how you can come up with one that suits you.

• Be authentic – Your flirting style should match your personality and feel natural coming from you or it might feel performative.
• Be confident – Good flirty questions should always convey self-assuredness, which not only makes you seem more attractive but also puts the girl at ease. 
• Find commonality – Common ground is where you will begin to build your bond. It will also help you figure out which flirty questions would work best.
• Make her laugh – This will immediately relieve any tension, making her feel more comfortable and open around you. It’s also considered to be an important flirting signal in people. 

When posing a flirty question, first consider whether it’s appropriate for your level of intimacy, if it fits naturally with the conversation, and whether the timing and mood are right.

When is the right time to ask a girl flirty questions?

As soon as you’ve built some rapport, and you feel a sense of connection. Flirting itself is almost an innate courtship behavior that we often do subconsciously, particularly through non-verbal cues and tone. A study published in Communication Quarterly found that sincere and physical forms of flirting produced the greatest benefit to dating success.⁶ So, whenever those aspects of communication become possible, it generally signals a good time to start bringing up some flirty questions you ask the girl.

You can only convey sincerity in your flirty questions if they already have some idea of who you are and how you interact. This is why you need rapport. Sincerity is a good strategy to go for with early flirty questions over text and first dates.

Physical flirting can be light touching, which may cross a boundary early on, or even with your body language. Therefore, it’s clear that the most effective flirting is done in person. Combining flirty questions and physical flirting is a great way to really sell the question and make it more engaging. 

Is it too early to ask a girl flirty questions on a first date?

No, flirting is one of the key aspects of dating, even on the first date. The only thing that should be changing as your connection develops is the types of flirty first date questions you employ. Flirting has a complex social function. A study found that people use flirting as a way to test the waters for attraction and interest without needing to fully reveal their feelings. It’s a playful way to push certain social boundaries, while maintaining the emotional distance to save face if the attraction isn’t mutual.⁷ 

Not only should you consciously ask flirty questions during the date, but you physically won’t be able to stop yourself from flirting – if things are going well. 

What are the best flirty topics to talk about with a girl over text?

Whether you’re looking for the best flirty questions to ask a girl to make her laugh over text or just want to connect with her on a deeper level online, finding the right topic can often be the difference between a good flirty question and a great one. Here are some you can explore.

• Their past – Not their whole life story, just the highlights. For instance, where they grew up, their siblings or even their warmest childhood memories. These are great for early on in the interaction because common ground is often found in our past experiences.
• Goals – Conversely, the future is a more engaging topic that’s a bit deeper. People generally have a semi-solid notion of what they hope to achieve and enjoy expanding on it. 
• General opinions – Asking for someone’s opinion on a topic you’re talking about is a handy way to shift focus back to them and make the conversation feel evenly balanced.
• Hypotheticals – Asking people about ideal world scenarios can help you get past some of their initial boundaries and reveal their deeper attitudes towards certain aspects of life and relationships.

How to turn flirty questions into a meaningful conversation?

Coming up with some reliable flirty questions to ask a girl is all good and well ,but you can’t hang the whole interaction on that approach or your connection will feel one-dimensional. Here’s how you can shift gears and address more meaningful topics.

• Gradually change the questions you ask from being playfully flirty to deeper and more thoughtful ones.
• Listen actively and wait for them to mention a deeper aspect of their lives or outlook while flirting. After they’re done, ask them if they would mind expanding on that point.
• Set an example by being the first to reveal something vulnerable and meaningful. It can feel risky, but most empathetic people respond positively to disclosure in the right tone.⁸

Avoid overly negative deep topics or you may unconsciously create a dynamic where they feel like they can vent to you without restraint. This trust is great in a relationship, but it doesn’t create a pleasant or memorable tone and may put a premature end to the flirty dynamic you’d already established.