You meet an amazing man and INSTANTLY fall for each other. For a while, things are perfect. He’s loving, affectionate, and you share things you’ve never shared with anyone else ever before. You start to believe that he could finally be the one.
But then things start to shift…and he becomes distant and withdrawn. Instead of being present and wanting to talk and share with you, he’s often distracted, irritated and doesn’t seem as happy just to see you and be with you.
And then it happens. Out of the blue he says something like, “I really care about you, but I’m just not ready for a serious relationship right now.” Of course you’re devastated and completely taken off-guard. Were you the only one feeling how great you were together?
Was there something wrong with him? Was he afraid of commitment? Or maybe…just maybe you got in the relationship and started moving towards a committed relationship with this man for the wrong reasons.
Most women never set out to find and fall into a relationship for the wrong reasons, but it’s an unfortunately common process. Here are 3 of the wrong reasons to get involved in a relationship:
Wrong Reason #1: Avoiding That Lonely Feeling
Another weekend rolls around…but you have no one special to share it with. You get into your bed at night alone and wonder, “I’m a great woman. Why don’t I have a real partner to share my life with?” You might not see it…but on an unconscious level, the struggles of a BAD RELATIONSHIP may actually be more comfortable and familiar to you than the idea of being alone.
When you fear being alone, you’re much more likely to make bad choices and end up getting involved with and staying in bad relationships because it distracts you from feeling lonely.
Wrong Reason #2: Caving In To Social Pressure
Are a bunch of your friends married, engaged, or falling deeper into lasting, committed relationships with great guys? If so, odds are it’s having a strong impact on the way you’re thinking and feeling. Seeing the love and luck that other women have in relationships can make you feel an intense level of pressure to find the right lasting relationship now. Ironically, your intense desire to have a great relationship will push men away. The man in your life may feel like you’re more interested in the idea of a good relationship than you are in him and how he actually feels when he’s with you.
Wrong Reason #3: Filling The Void
If you believe that a loving relationship will ease the emptiness inside you, the harsh reality is that no relationship is ever going to be able to “fill you up.” And if you try, it’s almost certain that the man in your life will start to sense this and be turned off and not want your relationship to work or last. Once the easy emotional connection and satisfaction of “new love” wears off… you’ll find that you’re not “filled up” after all and no matter what he does or says, ultimately it won’t be good enough… or feel good enough for you.
This “void” is the very thing that makes you so vulnerable to the wrong relationships in the first place – it will lead you to get involved not because a man or a relationship is right for you… but because you are driven to fill the void.
What To Do About All Of This…
If you feel like you end up repeating the same kind of painful situations in your relationships, and you want to get off the wheel…what should you do now? Before you do anything, you likely need to stop letting yourself feel out of control – only you own and control your life. Once you take the control back, you can start taking steps to bring about the change you want.
A great first step is to seek out amazing resources and information that will help you quickly grow and learn.
If you’re ready to stop getting in relationships for all the wrong reasons, take the time to help yourself let the woman inside shine – the woman who a man will quickly fall for. If you’re ready for a change, I can help.
Sign up for my very best free tips on what turns men on and off to a relationship at my website, CatchHimAndKeepHim.com.
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in love and love.
This article was written by a site sponsor. eHarmony does not necessarily share or endorse the views expressed in the article, but eHarmony does welcome different perspectives on relationships from sponsors and users alike. Please share your comments below and on our message boards.