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Does taking a break in relationship work or is it the end of love?

by eharmony Editorial Team - April 14, 2021

What does taking a break in relationship mean? It’s about having a temporary separation from a relationship that's become all about arguing, complicated issues, and more resent than love.

Do some soul-searching to explore how you really feel about the relationship. If you feel unhappy or alone or if you feel like the spark is gone, but you also know that you do not want to give up, then a break in the relationship can help. It can fix some of the major relationship problems and guide you to take the right decision.

Most common reasons to take a break in a relationship

Is taking a break in a relationship a healthy way to deal with issues? Well, it depends, if both partners are clear on how long the break is going to be and you set some rules and maintain the boundaries, it can work. When the issues in your relationships are a deal-breaker, taking a break may not make much sense.

Here are some of the most common reasons why couples go on a break:

  • Both are arguing often and are unhappy
  • When one of the partners is having cold feet about commitment
  • Relationship conflicts and feelings of dissatisfaction
  • If one of the partners has cheated, emotionally or physically

A break is all about giving each other some space and time to reflect, re-evaluate, and work on themselves. Both partners need to agree, and the rules have to be clear.

Taking a break in the relationship allows you to see things from a neutral perspective and gives you enough time to make decisions on whether you want to rebuild the relationship or end it.

The Do’s and Don’ts when taking a relationship break

First, you need to understand it is not a break-up. You are going to stay away from each other to contemplate and see whether or not you can further work on the relationship or if it would be better to call it off. Here are some rules to follow.

Set a realistic timeframe

Going on an indefinite break is not wise, it will only create anxiety. Set a time frame – it can be from anywhere from a week to, a month, or it can be up to 6 months. Ensure to give the needed space and respect that time frame. Taking too long or too many relationship breaks can lead to a break-up.

Do not contact

A break in a relationship implies a break in communication. It is natural to feel lonely and experience the void for a while. But you should be strong and not call or meet them. Checking-in on your partner will not help in any way.

Maintain boundaries

Be crystal clear on what is acceptable and what is not while setting the boundaries. Once you have set some boundaries (this may vary and look different to each couple), you should try to stay true to them. If you start to date other people and if this is not something you’ve agreed upon then it will only complicate the issues.

Give time to yourself

Make your time apart count – pick up on your hobbies, visit friends, and also work on improving yourself. Reassess your relationship and when you have clarity, you can make the right decision.

Remove the co-dependencies

If you have been sharing a car or a pet, you may not be able to truly take a break. If you are financially dependent on your partner, you need to discuss this aspect before deciding to take a break in the relationship. To the greatest extent possible, avoid being dependent.

Stay positive

While taking a break in a relationship it is important to stay optimistic to figure out everything properly. For many couples, it has been a blessing in disguise that has helped them to emerge stronger and to see their relationship in a new light.

What happens after a break in a relationship?

When your relationship hits a roadblock, you’re forced to weigh the pros and cons which often leads you to mutually deciding to take a break. While some breaks can lead to break-ups others can recover from their past situations and go on to have fulfilling relationships.

A Healthy Relationship Break

If both partners can establish a goal from having a break, come to an agreement on some clear guidelines, take responsibility for their mistakes, and commit to self-reflection, then it is easier to fix the issues.

When you are on a break, remember why you are doing this in the first place. It is the right time to let go of the past. Forgiveness is important and so is not bringing up new problems. Several studies confirm that couples who go on a healthy break have longer lasting relationships since they learn to value each other more.

Ending a relationship after a break

For some after you’ve gone on a break you begin to realize that you have been working on your relationship for a long time and tried all that you can do to save it, but have nothing more to give. You may had several break-ups but kept getting back together, but if your values aren’t aligned, you’re having nonstop ugly fights, or if you’ve undergone physical or emotional abuse, then it is best to break-up for good.

If you have lived in a toxic relationship, then a break might just make you feel good about yourself. Sometimes you feel you stayed because you felt obligated, and now when you look back, you do not want anything from your past. This is a huge sign you should end your relationship to be happy.

Taking a break in a relationship – A chance to move forward towards fulfilling love

Relationship challenges are inevitable but breaking-up is not an ideal solution each time. Instead of being tormented by stress, fear, or anger each time you see each other, it is better to take a break. A break in a relationship can lead to the kind of clarity and understanding a troubled relationship needs to thrive. Taking a break of course has both benefits and downsides – it may give your relationship a second chance or it may just postpone a looming break-up. If you are looking for love that lasts then try eharmony dating because true love does not have a happy ending, true love has no end!

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