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Black Dating: Four Things You Need to Know

Black dating” will mean different things to different people. As you seek your black soul mate, here are four things you should know:

Black Dating Tip #1: Go Online

You’re reading this online. And, today, your odds of finding “the one” online are probably in your favor. When seeking a date — and, hopefully, a relationship — an online forum can provide you with introductions far more diverse than a night at the bar or Sunday morning at church ever could. When looking to date a black man or woman, use dating sites that allow you to filter strategically and be intentional about whom you want to pursue.

Black Dating Tip #2: Know Why

Know why you’re looking for a black date. Especially in the online dating arena, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people of various backgrounds and ethnicities. If you’re looking to date a black man or woman, know why. Do you want someone who understands your cultural heritage and shares your history? Do you want someone who can identify with your current life experience? Are you looking to pair up with someone who subscribes to traditional gender roles? Maybe you want a strong woman along the lines of the matriarchs in your family. The more you know what you’re looking for and why, the better you’ll be able to find someone compatible.

Black Dating Tip #3: Don’t Assume or Generalize

Don’t assume the black women you meet online meet unspoken expectations just because their skin color does. Get to know your online match as an individual, avoiding generalizations or assumptions based on your current social circle or dating history. No one wants to be pursued solely for what they do or don’t represent or for the skin that covers their bones; ask specific questions, share your concerns and dating priorities, and be honest and open about why you approached him/her. Yes, you’re both interested in black dating; beyond that, you’re starting from scratch. Define “black dating” together.

Black Dating Tip #4: Celebrate Commonalities

You have more in common that just skin tone; find the things you both love and bond over those similarities and passions. “Black dating” can be a filter in which you find dates of a specific background, but look for the details that will really make your relationship thrive. In creating your online profile, be sure to include enough detail that will make your dream date take notice. If you want a man who loves to hike, include a hiking adventure detail on your profile. When you start communicating, let that be your initial common ground.

Be yourself. It can be difficult to be authentic online, as a computer provides the temptation to present ourselves ideally rather than realistically. As best you can, be yourself and avoid defensiveness, others-bashing or stereotyping. Approach online black dating with optimism and honesty, and you’ll likely attract similar upbeat attitudes.