Relationship moving too fast: How to avoid a whirlwind romance
A new relationship is always an exciting whirlwind. Love blossoms too quickly and you begin to think of your partner as the most significant person in the world.
The constant butterflies in your stomach, the thrill of seeing each other, and the new glow you have got, there is no doubt that the beginning is great. But do you feel that your relationship is moving too fast? Is there something that makes you feel uncomfortable or insecure?
Are we moving too fast? The clear hints and the potential red flags
It is important to establish a friendship first before diving into a full romantic relationship. But many times, when your dating chemistry is incredible you are likely to be whisked away by the currents of passion. Is your relationship too intense too soon? Here are five indicators you should watch out for:
You are idealizing your partner and compromising on your values
You are losing yourself to the relationship – you are ready to sacrifice your “me” time, time with your friends and family, and you are putting your needs aside to concentrate on the relationship. You are compromising even your principles to make your partner happy. You are placing your partner in the foreground and ignoring everything!
It’s all about physical chemistry
Your relationship lacks communication and boundaries. It has been all about intimacy. There is a lot that you don’t know about each other, but you are so infatuated in their physical attraction. Love is not just sexual chemistry and if that’s all your relationship is, there are high chances that you are rushing in. If sex seems to be the only thing that is keeping you two connected, then your relationship is moving too fast.
There are absolutely no conflicts
You have no idea about what makes your partner angry or upset, their likes or dislikes. There have been no misunderstandings or conflicts thus everything seems to be perfect. Fights, arguments, and disagreements are all part of any relationship. If your relationship has not seen any ups and downs, it means there is something wrong.
You are on a rebound relationship
It could be that you haven’t recovered from your recent breakup and need time to handle it. You have jumped into a new relationship quickly without healing from your past. When one relationship ends, it is tempting to jump into another to feel less lonely and you could be moving too fast in dating.
You are already planning a future together
When a relationship is new it is easy to be extra loving and caring. Everything in the world will feel beautiful. But if you both are already making huge life decisions, planning on moving in together after a month or less of dating, or are thinking of introducing each other to your parents then it is a dating red flag. You are chasing a feeling rather than pursuing a serious relationship.
How to slow down when a relationship is moving too fast?
It is always advisable to slow down the pace before making any important decisions that may affect your life. Love can cloud your thoughts, but you should take control of your emotions and be ready for a relationship only when you are absolutely sure that’s what you want.
Transparent communication pays out
Be clear about your feelings from the start. Be honest about what you want from the relationship – for example, if your partner wants to spend every waking minute with you, suggest something that better fits your schedule. Ask questions like, are we moving too fast? Is this what you really want? Get clarity.
Give importance to personal space and time
This is essential in a romantic relationship. You have found someone to love does not mean you should give up on everything that you have. It’s easy to get caught up in the future of a relationship and cut even friends and family out of it. You need to find a balance and make time for your hobbies, interests, and family.
Set some boundaries and follow it
If you feel the relationship is moving too fast too soon, slow your own pace of engagement and signal it. Discuss what makes you uncomfortable. Tell your partner what is acceptable and what is not.
Establish a friendship and empathize with your partner
When your partner has something to share, be a good listener. Having the comfort to discuss anything under the sun will make your bond stronger. When you are friends, you will have more realistic expectations from each other.
How to make progress in a healthy speed?
So, if you two have found yourself asking are we moving too fast, then it is a sign you should re-evaluate your relationship. We know moving too fast or too slow in a relationship is tricky. But then how do you achieve the optimal speed? The answer is pretty straightforward – a healthy pace is something that you both agree upon.
The dynamics in healthy relationships:
- You are not rushed into or pressured in a way that makes you feel overwhelmed – the pace is comfortable.
- You both understand that relationship needs effort.
- You take ownership of your behavior and bring your best self to the relationship.
- There is healthy conflict, mutual respect, and you spend quality time.
Moving too fast in a relationship? Work on building fulfilling bonds
Love is like a tasty dish, it should be savored, not swallowed or rushed into. In a new relationship allow things to evolve a little more organically. It is okay to let your guard down but be smart and avoid any regrets in the future. If you bring about the best in each other, then you are in a healthy relationship. When the comfort level is high and when good times outweigh the bad, it’s a sign of a happy relationship. If you are still looking for an ideal partner, who is compatible and who can make you feel comfortable at all levels, try eharmony dating – a path to fulfilling love.