How much energy do you spend trying to figure out how a man really feels about you?
So often we women get way too involved in trying to figure out what a man thinks or feels about us. We want more closeness and connection with him, and we think we can get it by focusing more and more of our attention on him. But this can work against you and actually get in the way of the love you’re looking for…
HOW ANALYZING HIM AFFECTS YOU
The more you over analyze a man and your relationship with him, the more anxious you will feel. You start to hang all your hopes and dreams on this one man, maybe even before you know all that much about him. Gradually, all the things that were important to you – your friends and your passions outside him – start to fall by the wayside.
And when these things go, so does your sense of self. Think about it – if he becomes the center of your world, it means that YOU’RE no longer the center. As you realize this, you start to fear that you might lose him. So you hold on tighter and analyze him more, looking for clues that will reassure you that you’re not pushing him away. But often, that’s exactly what happens.
HOW ANALYZING PUSHES HIM AWAY
When a man senses that you’re so invested in him and how he feels about you, he becomes turned off. He was attracted to you in the first place because you had a life outside of him. He loved the fact that you made yourself responsible for your own happiness. But once he feels that you’re looking to him to make you happy, he feels overwhelmed. That’s when a man usually withdraws. He can’t take the pressure of possibly letting you down, and he loses his feelings of attraction.
If you sit around worrying that he’s acting distant or spend your days analyzing him, you almost completely close yourself off to the possibility of a connection with him because you’re focused on him in the wrong way. You’re creating insecurity and desperation – by putting your focus on what HE thinks and feels. Where the only important thing that matters is HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES IN HIS PRESENCE.
SHIFTING THE FOCUS…AND CONNECTING WITH HIS HEART
It’s not whether or not he likes us, it’s whether or not we like ourselves when we’re with him. If you feel really great about yourself when you’re with him – if you feel attractive, fantastic, smart, and happy – that’s when true connection happens. There’s no need to analyze anything. On the other hand, if you’re feeling insecure and inclined to obsess about a man, that’s a sign he may not be right for you. It really doesn’t matter what he thinks!
So this is where you need to focus your energy: do you like who you are when you’re with him?
And, here’s what’s really important – a man can only feel as comfortable with you as you feel with yourself. The best thing you can do to improve your chances of connecting with the right man is to lift up your self-esteem first: to make sure you always come first. Love yourself, the people in your life, and the things that make you happy. Love from the right man will follow.
Rori developed simple, do-anywhere Tools that specifically work to raise your self-esteem in a way that will dramatically improve the kind of men you attract and how you relate to them. To learn what they are, subscribe to her free e-newsletter. You’ll discover how to finally have the secure, lasting, passionate relationship with the man who is right for you…and how to make him fall more in love with you every day.