Treating your matches courteously is a hugely important part of our dating process. Here are four behaviors typical of a disappointing match…
We provide our members information and suggestions to help them make the most of their eHarmony search, and we encourage them to treat their matches courteously. Unfortunately, when some members choose not to follow our advice, not only does it hinder their own search, but it means disappointed matches.
Here are 4 behaviors typical of a Disappointing Match (DM).
1. DM’s About Me page is not completely filled out or not very detailed.
It’s exciting to receive an e-mail notifying you of a new match! After all, this match may be the one! But when you review their About Me page and it’s incomplete or their answers are sparse, generic, or too general, excitement soon turns into disappointment.
2. DM doesn’t have a photo posted or multiple photos are too similar.
Our matching system is based on key internal qualities proven to predict successful, long-term relationships. So we encourage members to trust our system and focus on a match’s values and personality traits when evaluating their “soul mate potential.” But the reality is many members would like to see a photo the first time they view a match’s profile and are disappointed when one isn’t available.
Also, it’s always great to see that a match has posted multiple photos. But again excitement can turn to disappointment if it is just more of the same. When it comes to posting photos “variety is the spice of communication,” and members who post a variety of photos enjoy the best rate of communication.
So don’t be a DM! Support your success and please your matches by creating a terrific photo album.
3. DM’s aren’t open to communicating with the majority of their matches.
All matches a member receives are highly compatible with them based on our rigorous matching system. While a match’s profile may give you a sense of who they are, even the most dynamic About Me page and photos can’t fully represent a match or you. It is only through communicating with a match that you can really determine if they have potential to be the one. DM’s, unfortunately, aren’t willing to trust our matching system and do at least some communicating with most of their matches. This means a lot of disappointed matches and missed opportunities for the DM. Don’t follow their example. Instead follow the example of many of our successful members and give yourself and most of your matches the chance to discover if you are each other’s special match!
DM’s also, for whatever reason, won’t initiate communication. Sometimes female members feel their matches will think they are too pushy or male members feel they shouldn’t have to be the one to initiate communication – resulting in a stalemate.
While we encourage members to communicate with most, if not all of their matches, if a member chooses not to communicate, closing the match is the courteous thing to do. The same goes for those times when a member decides they aren’t interested in continuing communication with a match.
4. DM’s are too impatient.
Even though we encourage members to create a thorough and detailed About Me page and to post a variety of photos a.s.a.p., new eHarmony members often need a little time to get everything together. DM’s, however, don’t give their matches an inch. No photos — close. About Me page not thoroughly complete or sparse — close.
Also, it can be difficult to await a match’s response, but life happens, and sometimes members aren’t able to reply as quickly as even they would like. DM’s, however, will close a match after a few days of waiting.
This impatience and inflexibility can not only disappoint matches who may wish to communicate but also prevent a DM from getting to know some really terrific matches. So you don’t follow in their footsteps, I encourage you to exercise some of those qualities that, no doubt, will help sustain the type of relationship you are seeking.
By being understanding and patient with your matches, you give yourself the best chance of getting to know as many highly compatible matches as possible, which, in turn, provides you the best chance of finding the love of your life.
