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Open Communication Timing


Dear eHarmony,
I am now in the Open Communication stage with some of my matches. It has been about one week since I have communicated and I haven’t heard anything from my matches since then. How long does it take, on average for matches to respond while in Open Communication? How long should I wait for the response before closing communication?
Jackie in New York City


Dear Jackie,

The timing of each step of the entire Guided Communications process depends on the online habits and interest of an individual match. When sending communications, it’s a good idea to wait at least 7 to 10 days for a response. Lack of response from match does not always mean disinterest—work and vacation schedules, online access issues and other personal habits and events can sometimes slow down the communications process.

What you can do is send a “Nudge” to your match if you haven’t heard back within the 7- to 10-day time period. A Nudge will send an e-mail notice to your match reminding him that you are waiting to hear from him. After sending the Nudge, it is a good idea to wait another 7 to 10 days to hear back from your match.

Another option to closing an unresponsive match is to keep them open. We have heard from many happy and successful eHarmony couples who first began their relationship in a similar situation: one person had sent a communication but the other had not responded, and sometimes for as long as a month!

Nikki and Rik are one such example: Rik had initiated communication and she kept putting off responding to him because of a busy work schedule. Nikki and Rik came to visit us here at eHarmony in person a few months ago, and when they shared their story, Nikki said that even though she did not communicate with Rik right away, there was definitely something about his profile that made her keep it open. So, my advice to you, Jackie, is if there is something special about one of your unresponsive matches that catches your eye or imagination, even after giving him a Nudge, you might want to wait it out for a bit a see where things could go.

All the best,
eHarmony Advice Editor