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Should I break up with my boyfriend? How to know when to break up

by eharmony Editorial Team - August 18, 2021

Are you feeling stuck in a relationship and are often thinking of should I break up with my boyfriend? Ending a relationship is a huge, emotional decision and is never easy. Here’s a list of signs we’ve compiled that will help you to figure out when to break up.

First, take a deep breath and reassure yourself that this is just a phase, and remember good times await. All relationships go through hard times when two different personalities are adjusting to one another. While rough patches in a relationship are completely normal, there are some warning signs and red flags that you can’t ignore. Here’s what to look out for:

Should I break up with my boyfriend? 9 signs you can’t ignore

  1. There’s no trust or respect
    If your relationship lacks trust, respect, and stability it means it is going nowhere. If you can’t trust your partner in anything they do or say, or if your partner is constantly doubting you, it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship that will not last long. If you’ve tried and failed to trust your partner, or they are repeatedly breaking your trust, then it is a warning sign.
  2. You feel stuck in the relationship
    Do you often visualize a life minus him and find it nicer and happier? Do you feel like you are in love with the person you no longer really like? Do you keep hoping he will change? If you are constantly sad around him, or if you feel alone even when you are together, then it is a huge red flag.
  3. You often feel you’re in a one-sided relationship
    If you’re always the one suggesting dates, calling him, texting him, or making plans it indicates that he isn’t willing to make the effort required to keep the relationship dynamic fresh. When your emotional needs are not met and if you are the only one who is actively working on keeping the relationship alive, then they are surefire signs you should break up.
  4. Your values don’t match and your interest is dwindling
    Should I break up with my boyfriend just because we want different things in life? The answer is a clear ‘yes’ if your values begin to rub uncomfortably against each other. When passions and interests are too distinct to ever be settled without a drastic compromise, or if your life goals do not align, that’s when you have to leave a relationship.
  5. You have grown tired of the relationship
    If all your dates have become dull and when your every effort to make it fun is met with a general distaste, then that’s when to end a relationship. A massive warning sign that your relationship is doomed is when your partner just doesn’t excite you anymore – you don’t look forward to the dates, and you relish the idea of time spent away from him.
  6. You’re staying in the relationship due to some form of obligation
    If you are holding onto a relationship just because you have invested so much time in your partner or if you are staying back because you feel obliged, or you are scared of being alone then it’s time to break up. Because dragging such a relationship will only make you an unhappy person.
  7. Your life is on hold because of their choices
    The goal of a happy relationship is to have fun together and also to have an independently happy life. If you are not able to pursue your passions, spend time with your folks, and if your life isn’t progressing the way you envisioned it, that’s when to consider break up!
  8. You have a controlling partner
    Should I break up with my controlling boyfriend? This is one of the most glaring signs, where your partner is trying to control or dominate you. If your partner makes you angry, miserable, or bored often and if it is very hard for you to explain the reasons why you still love this person, it’s an obvious sign that you should go your own path. If you feel suffocated in a relationship and if the negatives overshadow the positives, it’s time to move on.
  9. You’re not the version of yourself you like best
    This can be a tricky sign – and you can spot this only when you are honest with yourself. Ask these questions – is your partner complementing your personality? Is he having a positive influence on you? If your answer is a no, then it is time to call it quits. 

Should we stay together? Think before calling it quits

Relationships aren’t always rainbow and sunshine – the ‘ups’ in a relationship are always thrilling but the ‘downs’ can be so awful that you begin to wonder when to break up. But before you call it quits, pause, and think.

This situation may not last forever. Whatever is bothering you, there are steps you and your partner can take to fix them up and work towards creating a healthier relationship together. Don’t give up too soon – arguments and fights and hard times don’t make your relationship; love does!

Should I break up with my boyfriend? Take action when the relationship is doomed

However, if you continue to stay in a bad relationship, you will never be at peace. If you fear being alone, then you should know being in an unfulfilling, tortuous relationship is terrible. A doomed relationship can never be fixed. It destroys not just your love life, but it can also adversely affect your professional life. It can cause your relationship with family and friends to suffer too.

So, should I break up with my boyfriend, if I can’t see a future together? The potential for the future with him should excite you and not scare you. If it is not exciting enough then such relationships do not work down the road. Wait no more, make a U-turn!

How to break up with someone: Tips for ending a relationship

Calling it quits can be hard, use these tips if you’re wondering what to say to break up with someone.

Know your worth and move on for good

If you linger on in a relationship when feelings are gone, it is doing injustice to you and your partner. If you want a new chapter in life, do not wait for the page to turn itself. Don’t ignore these red flags – save yourself the time and heartbreak and move on. If finding love again feels like a task, fret not. eharmony is here for your rescue – with smart compatibility algorithms, unique filters, and robust communication features dating is going to be easy and fun. With eharmony, date someone who is worth your time and the one who complements your personality. Join today!

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