Near the top of every list describing what anyone wants in a partner is this: Someone with a good heart. That’s because the most beautiful people have a kind and generous spirit that radiates to those around them. We can’t resist someone who is consistently gentle, compassionate, and accepting.
Since none of us has the ability to peer into the heart and soul of another person, we have to observe outward expressions and tangible evidence to assess someone’s true character. Here’s what to watch for:
1. Humor does not come at the expense of others. A person’s brand of humor says a lot about that individual. Is it cutting? Is it mean-spirited? A good-hearted person has a sense of humor that lifts others up and doesn’t tear them down.
2. Generosity is a way of life. In big ways (donating to charity) and small ways (picking up coffee for another), these people are glad to share their resources.
3. They give of their time. For many people in our fast-paced society, time is the most precious commodity. So it speaks volumes when someone is willing to spend a Saturday helping a friend move or doing yard work for an elderly neighbor.
4. The person gives without expecting recognition. In fact, people like this often give of themselves anonymously, perfectly happy to go unnamed and unnoticed.
5. Those who are highly accepting are highly attractive. We love to be around people we know aren’t judging our worth and evaluating us constantly to see if we “measure up.”
6. They make things smooth, not rough. Kindness is the grease that keeps the gears of daily life running smoothly. It calms anxiety, turns sadness into joy, and prevents annoyances from igniting into arguments.
7. Everyone is treated with respect and dignity. Watch how they treat the sales clerk, restaurant server, or taxi driver.
8. The person’s words and actions match. Good deeds emerge from a good heart. The old adage “Actions speak louder than words” applies here.
9. Unselfishness prevails. The unselfish person values your wishes and opinions, is not intent on getting his way, takes a genuine interest in your life, and is glad to serve you.
10. Your relationship is all about win-win. In other words, the good-hearted person wants both of you to feel like winners at all times. There’s no need for either of you to feel like a loser in any way.
11. He or she has a high degree of self-respect. A good heart comes from a strong heart. Those who love themselves in a healthy way can show the same kind of love to others.
12. They get angry for the right reasons. Getting mad at trivial matters is a sign that someone is impatient and ill-tempered. But getting angry because of injustice or inequality demonstrates passion aimed at the right target.
13. Good-hearted people help us feel great about ourselves. Our love for another person is strongly influenced by how that person makes us feel about ourselves.
14. The person consistently lives out the word “trustworthy.” Trust is broken by broken people. But trustworthy individuals know that every investment they make in the relationship will pay dividends.
15. Good people see good in the world. Sure, daunting problems confront us every day. But there are far more positives than negatives—and good-hearted people dwell on what’s going right rather than what’s going wrong.
About Ashley and eH+:
eHarmony’s new service, eH+, gives you the benefit of a personal matchmaker who picks your matches and guides you to success. We’re taking the best of what eHarmony does and combining that with what personal matchmakers do best – person-to-person conversation, opportunities for feedback, and coaching to put your best foot forward.