Have you ever hidden your true feelings from a man because you thought you’d “scare him away?” This is a frustrating situation. Shouldn’t you be able to just be yourself, and have him love you for who you are?
Let me explain…let’s say you’re involved with a guy and things are going great. But as the newness wears off, you begin to see you’re not getting what you want out of the relationship and you’re afraid to talk to him about it. You don’t want to rock the boat, but you also know that negative emotions are building up inside you.
He senses it, and after a few months he’s become distant and withdrawn. You’re not happy with where things are and want to have a “talk.” What happens next?
The Biggest Mistake That Makes Him Withdraw
So you’re scared of expressing your feelings about what you want from him and the relationship, and with this things build and build inside you until it happens – WHAM! You let him have it. All your desires, fears, frustrations, and dreams that you’ve been holding back all pour out in one big emotional explosion.
While it’s helpful that you got your true feelings out, how it happened didn’t ultimately serve either of you. In fact, it creates a lot of tension and “drama.” Especially in the guy’s mind. The tension that’s created in this moment stays with the man in your life and causes him to periodically withdraw.Yeah, I know…it’s immature, selfish and not fair of the man, but it’s the reality of the situation that lots of women end up in with men.
So how can you avoid making the Big Mistake? I’ll tell you how in 3 EASY STEPS.
Step 1) Communicate Your Needs Clearly and Without Blame
Do you secretly believe that your connection with a man will “naturally” turn into something deeper? Unfortunately, this isn’t how it works with most men. If you’re “assuming” you have a committed relationship, you’re on thin ice. Men don’t assume that a connection, being together, spending quality time and all the rest means they’re in a committed relationship.
And men never respond well to what feels like blame or criticism to them. This is when it pays to communicate in clear and positive terms about building a relationship together. And you have to do this before your emotions run hot and your first talk about your relationship turns ugly.
Step 2) Consider Where He’s Coming From Before Reacting
Everyone wants to have their needs met first. It’s basic human nature. But being able to delay your gratification is an amazing skill to develop. Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk, talk about what they think and want. You’re headed for The Big Mistake if you’re focused only on you when you have close intimate conversations.
If you don’t take the time to understand where’s he’s at and where’s he’s coming from while you communicate, you’ll rarely get the response you want.
Step 3) Take The Lead…Then LISTEN
Let me share a secret about dealing with men. Men are often clueless when it comes to identifying the things that are “obvious” to women as problems or shortcomings in relationships. Men are awful at initiating conversations about deep emotions and relationships. So it’s almost always up to you to initiate, unless you have him feeling deeply attracted to you at that moment.
Being the one to start the conversation, you have an opportunity. Will you set an overall positive tone that opens a man? Or a negative one? When you talk to a man from a positive place of listening first, he will be 1,000 times more attentive and open to your feelings.
If you’re interested in exactly how to go from a casual situation to a lasting and committed relationship with a man, while avoiding all the traps where men pull away…check out my ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him.”
You can find my eBook and my best free tips for changing the way men respond and communicate with you right here: catchhimandkeephim.com
I’ll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in Life and Love.
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