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Space in a Relationship: A Way to Get Closer to You and Your Partner

by eharmony Editorial Team - April 1, 2021

You and your partner love each other, no doubt. But lately, you have had some moments of struggle in your relationship. Do you often fight over the tiniest things? Do you feel your partner is not offering any input in the decisions you are supposed to make as a couple? Do you get the feeling that your lives are running in a parallel?

These are the few signs that scream for your attention. Giving each other the required space in a relationship without losing the connection is very important. Having some time and room for yourself is not wrong, you just have to see it in a positive light.

Needing space in a relationship – what does it mean and what are signs?

No one wants to hear their partner say, they want time away from you. But a healthy, happy relationship is about the right balance – enough time for hobbies, for connecting with friends, or time to focus on a career. Time apart is essential to put an individual in a better mindset to take care of the relationship.

So, what triggers this feeling?

Over possessiveness and clinginess. If you have been overly dependent, constantly calling or texting, getting suspicious often, or if you both have been doing every activity together, then it triggers irritation and cranky behaviors.

Needing space in a relationship is normal and here are the signs that you need to pick before it is too late.

  1. You have arguments for no reason

In a relationship, anger or fights could be the result of needing something a bit more. Spending too much time together can lead to toxic relationship models – when time by yourself isn’t honored or when your partner cannot focus on their work or interests or when they cannot have an opinion, anger is the outcome

2. Your Partner is annoyed by your presence

Too much interference in each other’s lives can also create friction. You care too much and unfortunately end up becoming a nag. Your mere presence can trigger a conflict, or they might just start ignoring you.

3. Your “connection” is off track

There could be other reasons such as work stress, but if your partner is constantly pushing you back or you are clueless about why they are acting in a certain way, then you need to give some space in your relationship to figure out the issues.

How to give your partner the required space?

If your partner says they need space in your relationship it implies two things—there are relationship problems, or they need time to sort things in their life. The good news is that they have mentioned it and it’s an easy enough problem to fix—talk to them and give them some time without allowing them to drift apart. It does not mean you need a relationship break. The trick is to learn the balance.

5 strategies to effectively give space in your relationship

  • Don’t take it personally – If your partner has openly told you that they need space, it is a good thing. Thank them for being honest. Tip: Remember, every individual is different, and it has more to do with how they get energized.
  • Limit texting and calling – Constant talking does not make a relationship stronger.Instead, send a few texts or call to say ‘goodnight’. Little interactions will let them know you care. Tip: A little absence makes the heart grow fonder.
  • Hang out with friends or family – Nurturing other relationships is important too. When you spend time with separate groups, it gives enough space to enjoy your different interests. Tip: Friendships help you grow.
  • Set new goals for yourself – Let go of your fears of being alone and instead set new goals. Do something out of your comfort zone, you will be happy at the end of the day. Tip: When you have a goal, you lead a better life.
  • Encourage your partner to discover new interests or to restart an old hobby. When you support them in their career or interests, your bond gets stronger. Tip: A healthy relationship is having a supportive partner (or being one) who has your back.

The Pros and Cons of introducing space in a relationship

There are times when you should not compromise – for example, your partner wants time away from you for a trip where he/she leaves you with a newborn. This is an unreasonable expectation and it only means they care less.

While a little space in a relationship and a little bit of a different perspective can make your bond stronger than ever, too much space can be the reason for an unhappy relationship.

The Pros – gateway to a meaningful connection

  • You can focus on your life – it is an opportunity to explore your interests that lacked attention while you were busy being in love. It also gives you the much needed “me” time.
  • Helps you progress – You can use the time to step up your game. Hit the gym, develop your skills, and pursue your dreams.
  • Helps you understand the importance of your time together – A little time apart will teach you to value your relationship and you will begin to enjoy your time together more.

The Cons – Too much space is a slippery slope

Giving too much space can lead to a point where your partner feels as though you don’t care enough anymore. You don’t trust or depend on each other for anything. When you give too much space in a relationship, it is often difficult to bring the connection back on track.

For a healthy relationship, give the right amount of space

The secret for a lasting relationship is, using the time away from your love to focus on what makes you happy. Having time apart brings about freshness in a relationship. It encourages each partner to maintain their identity. It fosters independence and strength rather than clinginess.

If you are looking out for someone who respects your space and has similar core values, then try eharmony. You are entitled to a happy and successful relationship!

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