Dating in Your 30s

By eHarmony Staff

Dating in Your 30s

Dating in your 30s might not sound like as much fun as it did in your 20s, but it certainly doesn’t have to be a chore. Having survived the immature sagas of youth, you’re ready to hit your stride, relationship-wise. Here’s a short guide to dating after your 30th birthday.

Dating in Your 30s: The Single Life

This is the decade in which to thrive. You’re likely to have a better perspective of dating than you did in your infatuated teen years. In your thirties, you’re cultivating friendships, passions, and a career. Dating is a part of life, but it isn’t everything.

Know what you want; not just from a relationship, but from life. You can’t control every circumstance surrounding “meeting the one,” but you can control how you spend your time. Live life to the fullest and pursue the kind of life you want to be living.  Bonus: a happy, confident, fulfilled individual is an attractive one.

You’re 30, not dead. Have fun.

Dating in Your 30s: Get Out There

If you thought meeting people was tough in your 20s, you’re likely to find dating after 30 to be even trickier. The proverbial pool has shrunk, with more of your peers in long-term relationships or marriages, and with your social circle feeling smaller. (You probably don’t attend a weekly pub night with your sorority sisters anymore.)

With fewer fish to choose from — and likely a busier schedule that keeps you from leisurely bumping into Mrs. or Mr. Right — now is a good time to give online dating a shot. Matchmaking sites can let you be specific about who you’re looking for and what kind of relationship you’re seeking. Be intentional, then dive in.

Dating in Your 30s: The Ticking Clock

Throw out the timeline. Say goodbye to the rules, the formulas and the ticking clocks. It’s okay to desire marriage and a family, but you can’t go on a date accessorized with the desperate pressure to settle down.

More important than getting married or raising children is being with the right person. Don’t settle for Mr. Right Now, and don’t scare off a great gal with your impatience. Just because your friends are at a different life stage doesn’t mean that you’re running to catch up. Enjoy each moment as it comes.

Learn to communicate your values and dreams without bitterness or urgency. The right relationship is worth waiting for.

Dating in Your 30s: The Good Stuff

Dating in your 30s is dating at its best. With age comes wisdom; you’ve learned from past mistakes and now know what you need in a relationship and what you have to offer. You’re aware of your strengths and weaknesses, as will your date be aware of his/hers.

Unlike your earlier dating adventures, you’re finally stable financially (maybe), you’re ready for serious commitment, and you’ve discovered that singleness is nothing to be scared of. And by pursuing a relationship more intentionally and with more maturity, your odds of finding lasting love are actually higher.

Besides, in your 30s you have more stories to tell. If you’re a woman, you’re also now at your sexual peak. Your 20s were overrated.

Dating in Your 30s: The Challenges

Check your cynicism at the door. Just because you’ve survived heartache to get here doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t trust the next person to come around. Learn to give each new date a fair shot, not holding them accountable for the sins of those who’ve gone before.

Be open-minded. Date someone who isn’t your type, try an activity outside of your comfort zone, and challenge yourself to address the stuck-in-your-ways habits that could keep others at arm’s length.

Kids start complicating things in your 30s. Either you have them, want them, can’t have them, or don’t want them: all of these scenarios can result in awkward conversations. Be honest from the get-go.  If you have kids, they need to be a huge consideration in your dating life. If you don’t yet have kids, evaluate whether or not the desire to eventually procreate is a deal-breaker. If your date hates children and you want six of them, the relationship has little long-term potential.

Dating in Your 30s — and Beyond!

Just as life didn’t end when you turned 30, it won’t end at 40 or 50 either. Single or with someone, life keeps getting better for those who embrace the adventure. Don’t let your relationship status limit your life, or your age limit your relationships.

more blog posts

More like this:

By posting a comment, I agree to the Community Standards.
Need help with eHarmony.com?