We went to eHarmony’s Customer Care team and asked a simple question, “What can every user do, starting right now, to encourage more success on eHarmony?” Here’s what they told us.
eHarmony is about the long-term. It is designed to be long-term. Know that if you're looking for a lifetime partner, it could take time to find that person.
There's No Excuse for a Boring Profile
There really isn't.
---Customer Care agents will be glad to provide suggestions and feedback.
---If you have a friend who has had a successful eHarmony experience, ask them for advice.
---Ask a close friend or family member to review your profile and photos. Having a member of the opposite sex review your profile can be especially helpful.
Watch Out for Misunderstandings
As you get to know your matches online, prepare for some misunderstandings and crossed signals. It's a good idea to give the benefit of the doubt until you've clearly established what was meant. You would hate to close a match with great potential because you missed their meaning. Also, don't punt on a great match because something they wrote in their profile seems off-putting to you. Ask them about it!
Question Your Assumptions
One of the most common comments we hear from our success couples is that their ultimate match fell outside of some of their original assumptions and expectations. Spend some time thinking about the preferences you've established in your dating life. You may have great reasons for some of them, and others may be open to review.
Become Familiar with the Safety Tips and Practice Them
Read the eHarmony Safety Tips. You'd be surprised at what they include — like encouraging you to follow your gut. Dating in a safe way is the MOST important thing you can do.
You are displaying yourself to people who don't know anything about you. Appearances may not be everything, but it is all your match has to go on. Your words and photos are the only tools to spark the interest of a compatible stranger. Use them carefully.
Get a Life
Have some interests that make you a whole person and passions that make you an interesting person. Make sure that at least one of the people on your date is fascinating.
Don't View eHarmony as a Measuring Stick
Whether you've had lots of communication or a little, try not to see your results as a referendum on your personality. There can be a wax and wane to the process that isn't related to who you are as a person. Create the best profile you can. Post the best photos you can, and approach your search with maximum confidence.
Do The Hard Work
Our TV ads show real success couples who are in love, and that can cause some people to think that using eHarmony is all belly laughs and joy. Sure, some people join eHarmony and find their match on the first try, but for the vast majority it takes time, energy, determination, and elbow grease. Complete your profile, post great photos, reach out to each and every match, and date as often as possible. It can be hard work, but success is sublime.
Give Your Account Settings a Jolt
If you've been using the site for awhile and you're not getting the activity you want, consider revisiting your match preferences. You may not want to date someone who lives more than 30 miles away. But if you met the love of your life, and he/she lived 47 miles away, wouldn't it be worth the trouble?
Use eHarmony Advice
Many eHarmony users don't know that there is a thriving (and free) information resource adjacent to the eHarmony matching service. eHarmony Advice has over 2,000 articles on dating. You can get answers and opinions on almost any subject you choose. You're on eHarmony Advice right now.
Manage Your Expectations
As with most things in life, managing expectations is the key to a positive experience on eHarmony. Sure, some people meet their soulmate on the very first match, but it isn't likely. Some people have a constant flow of great dates, but you may have some duds along the way. Some people never get closed out for no reason, but it could easily happen to you. There may be bumps along the way, but it's a process that works.
There’s no such thing as loving someone too much. There is such a thing, though, as too much smothering. And smothering can definitely scare someone away.