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What Your Home Says About You — and Your Date!

In today’s day and age, prospective partners can learn so much about your life by checking out your posts on Facebook or your latest tweet. The information streamed via your computer or smartphone is based on the persona you want to share with the world. You can highlight certain areas and hide others — and so can your new love interest. One way to really get to know someone (and them you) is to be invited into his or her home (once you trust them and are ready for that step).

Your home can expose the real you … and, the real them. Learning to read the clues in a home can give you a sense of the person’s hobbies, habits and the way they relate to the world and others. This also gives you an idea of what your pad says about you.


One gift in life is that we are all unique individuals expressing ourselves in many ways. This makes the world an intriguing and exciting place to be, filled with fabulous and amazing people to meet. One way we express our individuality is though our homes. Some like a clean-lined, minimalist interior while others prefer soft cozy spaces with whole spectrum of choices in-between.

Often our home environments are a direct reflection of what is going on in our inner world. If the space feels stark and methodically organized there is a good chance that the person who created the space finds harmony in order in all areas of their life.

If you walk into a space that has trophies, self-portraits and other accolades there is a good chance that the person has a healthy ego and likes to be reminded of their accomplishments. If the space has an eclectic mix of vibrant colors, this might suggest that the person who designed this space enjoys a little excitement in their life.


If you have hobbies you enjoy or activities that you love, it is natural to place reminders of these interests around your home that make you smile. These items reveal your passions. These can be pastimes exposed with actual memorabilia or pictures with scenes of things you love. One would have no doubt that I enjoy the beach when entering my home. I have pictures, paintings and seashells that adorn many walls. Notice what your art says about what you love and the interests that your date entertains.

Family and Friends:

Our relationship with family plays a role in how we relate to others and interact. Similarly, friendship dynamics can illuminate interpersonal relationship skills. Notice photos that your date includes in their décor. Does it include family and friends or is it void of personal photos? If there are family portraits, does it look stiff and contrived or can you sense family fun? This can give you sense of the relationship dynamics.

Most importantly, notice your comfort level when looking at all of these items because this can be a telltale sign of whether this is Mr. or Miss Right or Wrong. Does the space feel comfortable and welcoming to you? Are your dates’ hobbies and interests aligned with your diversions? Do the real-life photos correspond with what your new partner has conveyed online? Homes give us an insider’s view filled with an abundance of insights. Open your eyes before you open your door and welcome someone into your heart.

What have you learned about people from visiting their homes?

Christa O’Leary, MA, MFT, founder and CEO of Home in Harmony Lifestyle is an Interior Designer, Marriage & Family Therapist and Green Living expert. She teaches people how to ‘Design Inspired Living’. As a motivational speaker, up-and-coming Hay House Radio show host and author, Christa gives people concrete solutions to live their best life by creating an inspired, healthy, vibrant home, body, mind and spirit. Receive tips on how to Design your Inspired Life!