Most guys won’t admit it, but most of us find “first date” experiences can range from mildly anxiety-provoking to downright nerve-wracking. And usually, that’s for a very good reason. Like they say: you never get a second chance to create a first impression. And the stakes are never higher than when you’ve just met a great woman that you might share the rest of your life with, right?
So…once you have those first date “basics” covered (do I really have to say it? Things like good hygiene and manners) it’s time to master the 3 most powerful ways to create a great first impression on a first date:
#1: Talk To A Woman Like It’s A Date, Not A Job Interview
Men who focus on behaving politely to a fault on a first date are MUCH more likely to come across as stiff…anxious…or worst of all, totally BORING. These guys act like they’re out on a job interview or something. The fact is, most women come away from SUCCESSFUL first dates saying things like, “He was so funny…there was this amazing chemistry between us…I really feel something for him.”
That’s why it’s critical that a man “heat up” the usual, polite first meetings and conversations by nurturing interest, enticement and excitement in a woman. The easiest way to do that is to speak to her as if you want to have fun — as if she’s a FRIEND instead of a potential employer.
After the first “hello” moments of the date, feel free to take the usual conversation topics (careers, movies, whatever) and redirect the conversation in a way that creates FUN instead of TENSION and STIFFNESS. If she’s wearing something interesting, tease her gently about it. Ask her to hold the door for YOU. Tell her you’re tired of talking about your job…you’d rather talk about an ultra-cool experience you just had. Or (even better), one that SHE’S had.
Oh…and if she gives you a compliment, take it as an opportunity to challenge her in small ways that set you apart from that usual, nervous first date guy. Make a joke like, “Look, I’m not like other guys. Compliments won’t get you anywhere.”
In other words, treat her like a friend (and not like you’re trying to “win her over” and impress her) and you’ll see amazing results.
#2: Stop Asking Those Lethal “Attraction Killing” Questions
Once a woman you’ve just met starts to think of you in a particular way, she’s likely to keep thinking of you in that way. This is why I recommend that men avoid the impulse to ask those standard “first date” questions at all costs…most of which are guaranteed ATTRACTION KILLERS.
Whether it’s because he’s nervous, insecure, or just hasn’t planned ahead, I can’t tell you how many men tell me that they ask questions like, “So…how do you think it’s going?” Even worse: “Do you think we’re a good match?” Worst of all: “So, do you like me?”
These types of questions reek of desperation…and desperation is the biggest ATTRACTION KILLER, bar none.
#3: Use The Right Body Language
When you meet a woman for the first time, I just can’t say it enough…you MUST pay attention to your body language. After all, it starts “speaking” to a woman before you ever say a word. This means making sure to maintain eye contact (but don’t forget to blink…there’s no easier way to come across as a little bit scary).
Sit upright. If she ever draws back away from you, never “chase” her by leaning in. Instead, make sure that you draw back, too. When you speak, use a low, slow voice tone. If you rush your words, you’re more likely to stammer. During conversation, look around the room a little to break the tension.
All of this gets you off to a great start — and just might keep you from losing the game before it even starts
So act like a friend instead of a stiff…avoid asking those “lethal” questions…use the right body language…and getting a great SECOND date is all but assured.
Acclaimed “Double Your Dating” author David DeAngelo has cracked the “secret code” as to why some men effortlessly move on to great second dates — while most experience just one painful first date after another. In his FREE “Dating Secrets newsletter,” David shares his most powerful tools and advice for sparking ATTRACTION on the first date and beyond. Subscribe here.