When you meet a new man you like, it’s tempting to think you need to actively do something to show him why he should be attracted to you and interested in you. You might think you need to show him what a great cook you are by making him a meal or helping him with a problem so that he sees that you’d make a good partner.
But while every relationship needs a balance of give and take, these efforts on your part are not what make a man attracted to you. The truth is that the women who men find irresistible have certain “attitudes” that draw a man’s attention and interest easily – with little or no effort.
You can think of these “attitudes” as what you are saying to a man without you saying a word. Your internal emotions, your body language, and your tone of voice all communicate your “attitude” at a deep level.
Here are three attitudes that are subtly irresistible to a man:
Irresistible Attitude #1: “I don’t let a man determine what I will have in my love-life.”
This kind of woman won’t settle for a man who isn’t giving her what she wants and needs emotionally. Men respect this at a deep level, and they either become engaged and inspired by this to want to be with you…or turn the other way if they really aren’t looking for what you want.
How do you embody this? By first taking stock of what you really need in a relationship, and then sticking up for it. For instance, say you’re ready for an exclusive relationship. Simply tell him, “You have every right to date other women, but I’m looking for exclusivity. It’s what feels right for me.” This is a lot different from issuing a man an ultimatum. It tells him that this is what you need independent of him and that you are not looking for him to make something happen. Rather, you are stating what you are looking for – with or without him.
Irresistible Attitude #2: “I’d leave a man before I allow unacceptable behavior.”
This woman won’t stay in a relationship that’s abusive, degrading, or morally questionable. She also won’t put up with bad behavior from a man. Integrity and trust are important to her, and she lets him know that.
The cornerstone of this attitude is a healthy sense of self-esteem. In a relationship, the first person you must take care of is you. Know your boundaries so that you can recognize when someone crosses them – and let him know when something is not acceptable to you.
Irresistible Attitude #3: “I wouldn’t keep a man from doing the healthy, personal things he enjoys, or let my own fears or limitations stand in his way.”
She knows that her man is an adult who has the right and freedom to make his own choice. She understands that the more she tries to restrict him, the less he’s going to feel open, free and empowered when he’s with her. She respects his need to pursue his goals and dreams.
A smart woman gives a man the “rope” he needs to be himself. She recognizes that when each person in a relationship nourishes his or her particular passions, that the relationship also becomes more interesting and passionate.
When you embody these irresistible attitudes, a man is much less likely to “get weird” on you when you let him know how you’re feeling, because he’ll be craving a meaningful and deep connection with you as well. These attitudes tell him that you are the kind of woman who has a strong sense of what she needs and that she is not looking to him to make her happy. She takes responsibility for her own happiness – and this is infinitely attractive to a man.
Understanding attraction and how it works in a man is crucial for having a lasting, secure relationship. To learn more about the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to for the long term, subscribe to Christian’s free e-newsletter. He’ll tell you what makes a guy want to commit to you, and what you can do to get him there without any convincing or game playing.