Woman staring at herself in the mirror while putting on lipstick

Dating a High-Maintenance Woman? 8 Signs + 5 Tips to Bear in Mind

by Eharmony Editorial Team - June 7, 2011

Why do we need to talk about dating a high-maintenance woman? When someone describes their girlfriend as high maintenance they mean she is challenging to be with. Mainly because she has unreasonable demands and has too high expectations from everyone, especially from her partner. This behavior can have a serious impact on your relationship. So, is it possible to read a woman’s mind? Is it possible to totally avoid dating a high-maintenance woman? There are no general answers and it depends on the woman’s behavior. Read on to know what characterises her and how you can handle her the right way.

What is a high-maintenance woman? 8 specific traits

Take a look at these signs to find out if you’re dating a high-maintenance woman.

1. She has an inflated sense of self worth

She is egocentric, and self-obsessed. She thinks highly of herself and often puts down others. She is difficult to please and has a sense of entitlement. Most times, she’s consumed by her appearance than the experience of what you’re doing together.

2. She always strives for perfection

Another obvious characteristic of a high-maintenance woman: She is highly competitive. Is she desperate to appear confident or go that extra mile to look flawless? Does she seem to be preoccupied with maintaining her perfect image? Whether it is about her appearance or a task, she always wants to succeed by being the best, even if it means hurting the people she loves.

3. She can’t get over minor setbacks

She cries even over little misstep you make. Every small inconvenience is treated as a crisis. She hates to take responsibility, loses perspective easily, and can be a negative and overly critical person. She is naturally impatient and gets upset with minor setbacks.

4. She plays the victim in nearly every situation

She whines about everything when her expectations are never met. Do you feel she gets defensive easily and counterattacks are a common thing whenever you discuss something? She even resists constructive criticism. If she is sharing a sob story it will be always about someone doing wrong to her, and she is always the victim; she never talks about her mistakes.

5. She’s very dominating

Her demands and expectations are quite unreasonable. She likes to take charge of every situation in your relationship. Whether it is money or time it is she who decides how to spend it. Her policy has always been ‘it’s either my way or the highway’. You feel there is no personal space and treats you like her errand boy.

6. She has a long list of admirers – all men!

She always makes sure to look good as she wants all eyes on her. Normally, she has several admirers and she does not hesitate to flirt. It can leave you feeling like you don’t matter. She craves that extra attention and is insensitive to your feelings.

7. You are the one who is always paying the bill

In short, she uses people. And that’s the reason she has no real friends. She often ditches people who are honest with her and or can’t live up to her expectations. When you are out on a date, she never volunteers to pay the bill or even “go Dutch”. Probably she is used to other people paying for her and she likes that privilege.

8. Materialistic things bring her happiness

She has an affinity for finer things in life. She loves blow money on pricey vacations and good clothes. She maintains an expensive lifestyle and loves it when you gift her luxurious gifts. Does she even tell you what to buy or wear? She places great importance on material status.

How to date a high-maintenance woman? 5 rules to follow

Dating a high-maintenance woman is risky and always not worth the reward. They can be difficult to deal with but you can definitely come along with her. Here are some tips:

  • Be patient: If your woman always wants to be camera-ready, she is likely to take a couple of hours to perfect her look. Be a little patient with her and plan your time so that you don’t have to wait too long. Don’t forget to compliment her multiple times through the date.
  • Be honest: Your relationship is likely to face a lot of struggles and stress. It is not wise to debate about everything but be honest with her when you do. You need to be able to communicate your needs clearly with her. For instance, if she isn’t taking responsibility, let her know that – be assertive but not aggressive.  
  • Learn to stand up for yourself: Don’t worrythat she is going to break up with you if youcriticize her.Stand up for yourself. For example, if she is always blaming you for the problems in your relationship or is always complaining/ overreacting, let her know it is not acceptable.
  • Set some boundaries: Do not allow your partner to control everything. If you want your relationship to be successful, learn how to respect and protect yourself. Skillfully set some boundaries so that she will not have the power to hurt you.
  • Move on if it’s a psychologically abusive relationship: However, if she displays a lack of empathy, invades your privacy, tries to isolate you from friends or family and is just using you to live her lavish lifestyle, it means she is a toxic person. Quit before it ends in a disaster.

Find Real Love Now!

Choose your battles – Join eharmony for a stress-free dating experience

Dating and being with a high-maintenance woman means taking an emotionally invest and it will also cost you some big bucks in the long run. If you are a low-maintenance person, adjusting to your demanding partner can be exhausting. Ask yourself these questions: Do you like spending time with her? Does she bring out the best in you? Or are you just putting up with her because she has a pretty face? If you’re nodding yes for the last question, it means your relationship is destined to crumble someday. Move on if she is not worth your time. Join eharmony, to find your next great relationship. The platform focuses on psychological compatibility to help you find your significant other. Sign up for an exciting and seamless dating experience.

How it works

Your search for a great relationship has never been easier with groundbreaking overhaul of the eharmony you know and trust.