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10 Reasons he Won’t Commit

by eHarmony Staff

10 Reasons he Won't Commit

As far as you’re concerned, you’ve found “the one” – only he isn’t quite ready to be your “number two.” He resolutely refuses to indicate his commitment. So how come you’re ready to settle down, yet he isn’t? Here are 10 possible reasons why he won’t commit.

1) He’s Not Over His Ex

Well, of course he says he’s completely over his ex. There’s even a chance he believed it himself too – and that it took getting involved with another woman for him to realize he wasn’t. While it’s difficult to admit to yourself – and to each other – that you could be his rebound girl, it’s best to discover the truth as early as possible. Look for signs of his lingering feelings – especially if an unusually short amount of time has passed between that relationship and yours. The number one sign: a fridge-mounted or framed photo of his ex that has yet to make it to the back of the drawer.

2) He Had a Bad Experience with his Ex

If he’s still bearing the scars from a bad breakup, chances are that he’s not ready to leap into another one. Depending on how badly that relationship ended, it could take him some time to realize that you’re not going to cause the same damage. Right now, he may be looking for signs that it’s all going to go to hell in a handbasket – and, of course, the more he looks, the more he’ll find. It’ll take a fair degree of patience on your side to get beyond this.

3) There’s Someone Else in the Picture

If you’ve not officially declared yourselves “exclusive” or if your boyfriend has a history as a double-dater, he could be sidetracked by other opportunities. Some men like to keep their options up in the air for as long as possible before making a decision, and unfortunately, you could be the unwitting victim. Watch out for the obvious signs – mysterious schedules, dubious stories, regular periods when he is incommunicado – and if you’re still concerned, ask him straight out.

4) He’s Totally Happy with His Life

Despite dipping their toes into the dating pool, some men actually don’t want a girlfriend. Sure, he may enjoy the companionship and those other relationship benefits, but only as an adjunct to the rest of his life. If his priorities are his friends, his hobbies or even his basic “me” time, he’s only going to have a little extra room for the joy and wonder of you − which is fair