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It’s Not About You

“It’s confusing for anyone when there’s an abrupt change of heart, but before you go replaying and analyzing every interaction to see what you said or did wrong, take a pause: this may have nothing to do with you. His own fears about what it means to get close may be giving him cold feet. Maybe he has some unfinished business from a previous relationship where getting close meant getting hurt. When he starts having those strong positive feelings again his anxiety may kick in and say — rejection alert! Run! If you think you have something really good going, talk about it. Maybe your man needs time to work through his anxiety and see that (your) love is here to stay. But if despite your attempts to make it safe, he continues to be standoffish, it may just not be the right time for him. His not being ready is not a reflection on you, but this is where your own self-protection might need to step up for your own good: it might be time to let go.”

Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety