As summer comes to an end, it’s all too easy to get the blues about the possibility of another year passing without meeting your perfect partner. But before you fall into a serious funk, relax.
Whether you’re ready to rock your love life right now or simply want to climb out of your current non-dating rut, the following tips will help you celebrate being single as well as increase your chances of future relationship success.
Tip #1: Learn to Enjoy Being Single
In case you’ve forgotten, there’s something incredibly freeing and fabulous about being single. However, if you’re the only one in your social circle who’s not married with children, it may feel more like a life sentence that you’re forced to endure. When in doubt, remember this: Being single is nothing more than a state of mind. And by celebrating your single status, you reenergize how you feel about yourself and your life. By being footloose and child free, you have the opportunity to enjoy staying out till all hours, sleeping in as late as you like on weekends, and coming and going as you please.
Those are reasons definitely worth celebrating! In fact, give yourself permission in the near future to celebrate your single status in a big way. Whether it’s going out dancing with your gal pals, taking an impromptu road trip without having to clear it with the family, or using your single salary to splurge on something decadent for yourself, how you celebrate is up to you. The point is to acknowledge the beauty of being single and to celebrate it with a gift for yourself.
Tip #2: Flirt Daily
Now that you know the benefits of being single, it’s time to rediscover the joys of flirting. In the new millennium, you don’t have to be on a date to flirt. In fact, you can – and should! – flirt on a daily basis. How? By mastering the art of making eye contact, sharing a flirty smile, and learning to strike up a casual conversation with cute strangers in your everyday life.
Not sure where to meet your flirting match? Look around! You can flirt with strangers anywhere at any time – while in line at the grocery store, in the elevator at work, picking up your coffee or dry cleaning, or even sitting in traffic. You owe it to your fab single self to flirt daily!
The point of this exercise is to 1) remind you of just how many members of the opposite sex are in your everyday life (you just may need to take those blinders off) and 2) give you plenty of practice talking to potential partners so that when someone really interesting comes along, you’re not tongue-tied – in fact, you’re a flirting master!
Tip #3: Get Out of Your Own Way
Sometimes, without even knowing it, the greatest obstacle in your journey toward meeting somebody really amazing may just be you. If you suffer from low self-esteem, hold on to limiting beliefs about what’s possible for you in love and relationships, and/or are carrying massive amounts of emotional baggage with you wherever you go, you just might be getting in the way of your own relationship success.
So how do you step aside and welcome success with open arms? Simple. You take a step back, assess what’s working for you (as well as what isn’t), and make the conscious choice to break free of any limiting, negative, or self-sabotaging dating behaviors and/or beliefs. This may include letting go of your fears of getting hurt again, taking a risk and opening up to someone new, and possibly changing your dating vocabulary from “Being single sucks” to “Being single rocks, is fun, regularly brings new and interesting people into my life,” etc. By getting out of your own way, you engage the law of attraction and invite possibility back into your life. Love that!
Tip #4: Regularly Put Yourself in Target-Rich Environments
Chances are good that Prince Charming isn’t going to magically show up unannounced on your doorstep one day. And if he did, you’d most likely label him a stalker and lock the door. So how exactly do you plan on meeting potential partners? Start by getting out of the house and out of your routine, and putting yourself in target-rich environments on a regular basis.
Your ideal target-rich environments will depend on your particular likes and dislikes. For example, if you dig the outdoors, join a singles group through the Sierra Club or other outdoor organization. If you enjoy music and/or culture, regularly attend art openings, museum benefits, and live music functions. By regularly putting yourself in target-rich environments – and even practicing a little flirting while you’re there – you greatly increase your chances of meeting someone you could really connect with. And if you don’t? Well, you’re still enjoying your fab single life by doing what you love to do anyway.
Tip #5: Turn Down “The Tick”
Be honest. Is the tick, tick, tick of your biological clock keeping you from enjoying your life as a savvy single? If so, you don’t need to make a mad dash down the aisle, but you may need to turn down “the tick.” By taking the pressure off your timeline for getting married and having children, you’re better able to enjoy being single. You’re also better equipped to see the men you date for who they really are, not for who they could possibly be as a father for the baby you’re already behind schedule to have.
The truth is, there’s no one timeline for marriage and babies anymore. Your timeline is uniquely your own. And if what you really want is to get married and have children, you first need to become the healthiest and happiest single person possible. In turn, you’ll start attracting like-minded healthy and happy partners. Besides, there will be plenty of time for matrimony and children later. However, if statistics scare you, let’s get real. If by the time you settle down it’s biologically impossible to have a baby of your own, you can always adopt or find a surrogate. The options are limitless. So turn down that tick and start enjoying life again!
There you have it: five tips for learning to love your fabulous single life as well as increase your chances of future relationship success. May you learn it, love it, live it.