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He’s Dating Around. Should I Date Him?

Is it foolish for me to continue dating a man who is still seeing another woman? He has been completely honest about his involvement with both of us. We have only dated a few months but I am ready to date him exclusively.

–Annie, MN

eHarmony has been designed so that we can introduce you to several potential relationship partners. We believe it is important for you to meet several highly compatible candidates during your search for a fulfilling and loving relationship. It is also normal to expect that while you are getting to know someone and deciding if they are right for you, they will also be dating others and making decisions about who is right for them.

Part of the process of choosing a person to pursue is gauging their interest in you. I believe that during the first two dates you can, simply by using your skills of observation, determine whether a person is actively interested in a serious relationship with you.

You mention in your letter that you’ve been dating this man for “several months.” I believe this is more than enough time for him to decide if he wants to pursue you or the other woman he is seeing. I would suggest that you politely ask him whether he is ready to commit to an exclusive relationship with you. If he cannot, after these months of dating, decide where his heart lies, I think that is a clear indication that he doesn’t share your interest in a long-term relationship.