We’re all familiar with movie “red herrings” — those clues or events that seem important, but only take the viewer in the wrong direction and away from the real solution.
In the real world of dating, red herrings are all too common. Things that seem important, impressive or even disappointing early on may turn out to be false leads that point us in the wrong direction. In the early stages of a relationship you have to make decisions with little bits of information. So we all look for indicators to help us choose to go forward or go away. Some of these traits are good indicators and some can be very misleading. Not because they are bad things, necessarily, but because they don’t tell you much about whether the person will be a good partner for you. Putting too much faith in these litmus tests can have you wasting time and energy on someone who was never really right for you.