You’ve committed to finding the one and have been out with a bunch of new prospects. Only problem is, you’ve had one bad date after another and now you’re questioning if sitting at home is actually more fun than going out with the most recent date you’ve planned for Saturday night.
When you’re dragged down by hours of looking at dating profiles, messages that don’t go anywhere and one mediocre date after the other, it’s really easy to get inside of your head and fill it with negativity.
Will I ever find the one? Am I just choosing the wrong ones? Isn’t love supposed to be easy? Is something wrong with me?
Sound familiar? As someone who’s been there, I know how it feels to go through those days (sometimes weeks) where you just want to throw in the towel. Don’t be discouraged; while dating is hard, a love worth having takes effort and a positive state of mind.
Here are some tips to help you get back on track.
Find the Lesson in Every Situation
There are no bad dates, there are only dating lessons. You may have not found the love of your life (yet), but you did meet a new friend, potential career opportunity or a person you can call up to share a hobby with. Those are all wonderful reasons to keep dating.
Continuing to date will also teach you more about yourself and what you’re looking for. Perhaps a non-negotiable arises for you or you realize that you need a partner who has more time to spend with you. The more dates you go on, the more in touch you will be with your needs in a partner.
Lean on Your Support System
When you are limited on time, it’s hard to both date and have time for your friends. But spending time with people we already like is a great way to refocus and reenergize our efforts. Call your friends or family and schedule a date with them. Go see a movie or have brunch so you can laugh and be at ease with the people you love.
When you hang with your support system, be sure not to go down the rabbit hole of venting that turns into complaining. Complaining about your relationship status, the men/women you meet, or the horrible dates you’ve been on will only bring more of that into your life. That’s the law of attraction. Instead, really focus on being optimistic.
Reconnect to Your Purpose
There’s a reason you keep going on all of these dates, right? You want a happy and successful relationship. It’s when things get tough that you need to recommit to that purpose.
Get out a piece of paper and start jotting down your purpose. “I want a great partner,” is not enough. Get detailed with your purpose and the life that you see for yourself in a relationship. How would that transform your life from where it is now and why is it important to you? Reconnect to that purpose and recommit to the journey that gets you there.
Add Variety to Your Dating Life
Are the mundane coffee dates and dinners not working for you? Make your next first date an activity that you know you’ll enjoy regardless of whether you and your date instantly connect. Take a painting class, go on a hike, or window shop through your favorite neighborhood. Whatever the activity, just be sure it still allows you and your date time to talk and get to know each other.
How do you keep it positive during your dating journey?
About the Author:
Ravid Yosef is a Dating & Relationship coach living in Los Angeles. Adamant about sharing the lessons she learned about love and life after cancer, she established LoveLifeTBD.com, a personal blog in April of 2014 and has written over 100 advice articles. Her advice columns and personal essays have been featured on YourTango, Care, Women.com, Fox Magazine, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, Psych Central, and many other online publications.