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An eHarmony Success Couple: Lisa and Scott

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In August 2007 Scott and I both found ourselves on eHarmony. We were both looking for someone to do things with—not really looking for a long term commitment. Scott had lost his wife to cancer in 2003; I had been divorced 5 years. I saw his profile but decided that if something was meant to happen I would want him to initiate it. To my surprise and good fortune, that happened. We finally spoke on the phone on a Friday night after he had attended a high school football game where he teaches.

In that conversation, we found that we knew so many of the same people, had so many of the same goals—we could not believe we had not met before. Art, animals, homesteading, politics, cultural events and issues, travel—we just wanted a partner to share our visions and adventures.

In talking about the musical tastes we had in common he knew my favorite love song from a very obscure artist—the song is “Margaret and the Dutchmen”, recorded by Steve Goodman. It’s a story about an older love that brings tears to my eyes—a lasting love. I was immediately intrigued. He had a great laugh and sense of humor. We ended our phone conversation at 11 p.m. because we both had to watch Bill Mahr, but agreed to meet at Borders the next day. We both figured an hour meeting, then on our way.

Upon seeing each other we instantly felt at ease – none of the nervousness or apprehension that comes with a “blind date”. We talked for a good hour, then decided to go to my house which was close by. We spent that afternoon talking about our histories and what we wanted out of a relationship. It was all very open and honest. He met all of my rescue parrots and dogs.

By late afternoon, we went to his house to feed his cats and dog and then went to dinner. Scott is a high school history teacher and I had just watched Freedom Writers with Hillary Swank, I was excited to have him watch that and we didn’t want the evening to end so we rented the movie…then agreed to meet at 8 a.m. the next morning to walk the dogs. Our first date lasted 8 hours.

On Sunday we met at 8 a.m. and had a great walk with the dogs. The bottom line was how comfortable we felt together and how open and honest we were. That “date” lasted 15 hours!! On that Sunday I met his son Jarryd.

Scott’s involved in a lot of school clubs and his time is filled during the week. I figured that even if I only got to see him on the weekends that was OK because I really liked him. He said he’d call in a couple of days—hah! That never came true—he called every day—my response would be—“this isn’t a couple of days” at which point we’d laugh.

In a very short time we became inseparable. All of our free time was planned with each other. The first time I stayed at his house I noticed the exact piece of artwork that I had bought at a local art show a few years earlier—that freaked us out!!!

Scott lived in the woods and lived a lifestyle I had during my marriage. The difference was he lived in a real community—it’s a land co-op that has existed in Tallahassee for over 30 years. It was all wonderful.

We enjoyed everything together with all the time and energy we had available. People around us took notice—we were both so different—really happy!! On February 7, 2008, Scott asked me to marry him—I instantly said yes. His only son Jarryd was thrilled—we started to be a family and Jarryd was open and welcoming. In March and April we spent time telling our family of our plans! We decided to get married twice! We were to be married once in Scituate, Massachusetts for Scott’s family and then in Tallahassee, FL for my family and all of our friends. The fruition of our vision began as we started changing our lives. Our friends and family and friends were thrilled that we found true love again in our lives!

On May 20, 2008 tragedy struck. Scott’s 22 year old son Jarryd was killed in a bicycle accident. This event rocked not only us, but our whole community—so many people knew Jarryd and so many people knew Scott because of his role as a teacher. They were also the many people that had supported both Jarryd and Scott when Sandra, Scott’s first wife/Jarryd’s mother had died.

Jarryd was Scott’s only son—it was unthinkable that this had happened, in fact it still is. We held on to the future and each other. Jarryd knew we were happy—but how could we have such great tragedy and then hope to experience such great joy in joining our lives in the same year? We had to turn it around in our minds—Jarryd wanted this as much as we did…so we took his lead. We also had such a deep love and commitment for each other that we knew we would make it.

We kept that focus on the future and tried in every way to honor Jarryd’s life in our coming together. We already had a rock solid foundation and belief in our relationship and that is what we relied on to carry us through. It has not been easy and every day is a milestone. Scott is a remarkable man in the way he has carried out his life…I tried to create an environment that brought him comfort and a safe zone.

We went through a tropical storm in September that left us with 3 feet of water surrounding our house and flooded under our house. We didn’t have electricity and couldn’t drive out of our driveway for almost a week.. But we did canoe out—and we did mail off our wedding invitations in an effort to do something “normal”.

Every hurdle that we encountered made us stronger and more definite about our life together. We kept our plans intact. We looked for ways to integrate Jarryd into our wedding. He had a tattoo that said “Hug Life”—that became our theme. We added “Celebrate Love” and incorporated it into our invitations, cake and vows.

On Oct. 17, 2008 we were married in Scituate, MA in a small family wedding—it was beautiful. On November 15, 2008 we were married in Tallahassee, FL with huge party. We got the best of both weddings. We have a good life. Others in our community and families suffered tragedies in 2008—we were told many times that our wedding was the best event they’d been to, that our love was inspiring and the most positive thing they could think of for the year. We have been honored—by each other and by all of those that support us. We are very fortunate indeed and look forward to the happiness that our life together is bringing.