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Four Ways to Create Powerful, Lasting Attraction in a Relationship

by Eharmony Editorial Team - August 1, 2011

When it comes to creating a long-lasting relationship, it takes more than just “heat” and “chemistry.” In this article, David DeAngelo reveals fo

When it comes to creating a long-lasting relationship, it takes more than just “heat” and “chemistry.” In this article, David DeAngelo reveals four ways ANY man can create the powerful, enduring attraction that’s at the heart of every great relationship.

Ever watch a great dance team perform together? It’s really amazing to watch.They seem so connected, able to anticipate each other’s moves, complimenting each other while never stepping on each other’s feet. The same can also be said when it comes to creating a great relationship. It’s a dance between two people based on a continuing flow of “invisible” signals…all of which either work together to build lasting attraction — or signal the beginning of the end.

That in mind, here come the four most powerful ways to create, nurture and build the kind of deep, lasting attraction that’s at the heart of every great love affair.


When it comes to building a deep, enduring relationship, physical passion is just the icing on the cake. The passion that I’m talking about here is a man’s ability to know what he wants for himself; the goals, causes and pursuits that make him feel fulfilled and excited to be alive. Because before he knows what these are, there’s no way he can successfully share himself with anyone for the long term. Period.

Of course, this doesn’t mean a man must “master” all of his passions and pursuits. Once he at least knows what they are, he can begin transmitting all the the right “signals” to a woman. He signals that he’s ready to embark on an exciting, shared journey from a place of personal strength, energy, and enthusiasm in life (instead of needing a woman to spend her life trying to “encourage”, “flatter” and “fix” him). He signals that the trip will be fun, joyful, and fulfilling…shared in-step and in-sync every step of the way (instead of becoming a dreary, boring struggle to work together).

Above all, he signals that he’s ready to:


In other words, once a man feels passionate and confident about the direction of his own life, he must then “tune in” to react to his dance partner’s wants and wishes as well. Maybe she’s at a place in her life where she still has exploring to do. Maybe she’s already found and immersed herself in her passions, but needs more time and space to go further. Either way, once a woman feels that a man understands and has dedicated himself to helping her achieve her dreams, magical things happen:

She lets go of her built-in hesitancy and insecurity about commitment.

She leaves behind her natural resistance because she’s received the signal loud and clear.

She knows that her long-term “dance partner” will be there to listen and support her. He will take action to help make her successful. He’ll make adjustments and sacrifices to help her find and achieve her passions.

This is the foundation upon which the deepest attraction between a man and woman is built.


This one’s so basic, I shouldn’t even have to say it…ANY relationship that loses its sense of fun is doomed. Not only is sharing “fun” times a powerful bonding force, it’s the actual “dance” itself, the goal that we’re all looking and living for. It’s all about being creative together, laughing together, brainstorming and experiencing the next event that will become a shared memory together.

So keep bringing the fun, from scenic bike rides to playing Frisbee in the park and visiting out-of-the-way Italian cafés. Having simple FUN together is like winding the watch spring of a relationship … it tightens the forces of attraction and makes them grow more powerful.


The biggest “relationship pitfall” is that the things which first create attraction between a man and a woman are usually not enough to keep attraction thriving for the long term. This is why it’s critical that a man be willing to open himself up to a woman, sharing exactly how he feels and what he wants at all times. When he does, two major, relationship-reinforcing events occur:

He achieves (and preserves) TRUST, proving he’s comfortable enough in his own skin to skip the “game playing,”eliminate the destructive “mystery,” making a woman feel safe and excited to be around him no matter how many weeks or years have passed since the first date.

Being “open also fuels that continuing sense of fun and new adventure that’s so crucial for keeping a relationship burning brightly for the long term (See #3 above).

Master these simple ways of creating and sustaining powerful attraction inside a relationship, and it’s like a perfectly synchronized dance:

You’ll continually feel the amazing, life-changing, invisible “force” that connects you to a great woman together for the longer term… and keeps attraction growing without limits.

Acclaimed “Double Your Dating” author David DeAngelo has unlocked the secret why so few men enjoy life-changing, lasting relationships with amazing women… while MOST endure continual break-ups, loneliness, and failure. David reveals his success-proven tips and tools for mastering the “invisible” forces of lasting attraction in his FREE newsletter. Subscribe here.