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How to Create Your Soulmate Wish List

For the past twelve years my soulmate Brian and I have been blissfully married. But I have to admit that there were moments along the way when I doubted he would ever come.

SML Soulmate Secret COVEREven though I had an amazing life, wonderful friends, and a successful career, at 43 I found myself still single with no real prospects for romance.  In a moment of inspiration, I decided to see if all the manifestation tools and techniques I had successfully used in my business would work in my love life. The first thing I did was invest some time, energy, attention, and intention into creating what I call a Soulmate Wish List.  It may sound simple on the surface, but you’ll be surprised by the wealth of information this one exercise will reveal.

Making the list requires hanging out in your heart long enough to hear what it is you most desire in a life partner. It also requires a leap of faith: Once you’ve clarified your unique goals, preferences, and tastes, you have to cultivate the trust that the one you’ve asked for is on the way. Think of it this way:

When you walk into your favorite coffee house you confidently tell the barista, “I will have a tall, half-caff, low-fat mocha latte, with a splash of non-sugar vanilla syrup to go.” The barista smiles, writes your order on the side of a cup and takes your money. Within minutes you are walking out the door with the precise, delicious cup of coffee that you ordered. Ordering up a soulmate from the Universe works in a similar way. It demands a bit more thought and it’s not always as instantaneous, but it can be just as precise. However, here is the key to unlocking the full manifestation powers of the Universe: You must clearly place your order.

If you’re like most people, you’re probably pretty clear about what you don’t want in a partner, but attracting your soulmate doesn’t work that way. You must ask for what you do want, and this is where your Soulmate Wish List comes in. By identifying what’s really important to you, you’ll begin to send out a strong and consistent signal that will draw to you a partner who has values and goals that are similar to yours. If, however, you get caught in the trap of “keeping all your options open,” you may confuse the Cosmic Order Taker as to what it is you really want.

God is in the Details

Begin by thinking about the aspects of your life that you look forward to sharing with a partner and the way you would like to feel in his or her presence. Here are some specific questions that will help you create and refine your list:

  • How would I like to feel when I wake up in the morning next to my soulmate?
  • What kind of lifestyle will we lead? Are you both workaholics or couch potatoes or a combination of the two?
  • How do we spend our weekends? Hiking local trails, taking in movies or cultural events, or hanging out around the house?
  • Do we have or want children – and, are you willing to accept someone else’s children into your life?

Telling the Universe the characteristics you are looking for in a soulmate is similar to typing a key word into an Internet search engine. The more specific you are, the greater the chances that your search will yield you exactly what you’re looking for.

To get you started, below are a handful of qualities and traits to consider when creating your soulmate list. Read these for ideas, but write down only the qualities and traits that are really important to you. If you have past lovers with whom you have happy memories (or perhaps you are still friends), think about the qualities that you appreciate most about them, as it might provide a clue as to the type of person you are ready to manifest now. Take as much time as you need to create your list, making it as short or as long as you would like.

  • Abundant
  • Affectionate
  • Ambitious
  • Articulate
  • Adorable
  • Beautiful
  • Bubbly
  • Caring
  • Charismatic
  • Considerate
  • Creative
  • Dog lover (or cat or fish or whatever your pet of preference is)
  • Endearing
  • Enjoys ________ (add your choice of  words – foreign films, travel, chanting, etc)
  • Emotionally available
  • Family oriented
  • Flexible
  • Fun, funny
  • Happy
  • Healthy
  • Independent
  • Generous (with money, time, affection, etc.)
  • Great relationships (with family, children, ex-spouses, etc.)
  • Loves to _______(cook, play golf, bungee jump or whatever turns you on)
  • Loving
  • Nurturing
  • Playful
  • Sexy
  • Sensuous
  • Spiritually open (or attends church, temple, mosque, etc.)
  • Smart
  • Successful
  • Supportive (of your career, dreams, triathlon training, etc.)

Writing Your List

After you’ve contemplated the specific qualities that are important to you in a partner, write your list out in ink on a beautiful sheet of stationary. As you write each word, imagine that you are living with your soulmate right now, giving thanks for their presence in your life. Feel the feelings of joy, happiness, passion and peace that come with knowing that the hands of fate have reunited you with your beloved.

Releasing Your List

Now that you’ve created your list, it’s important to release it with some kind of sacred ceremony (be sure to keep a copy of the list somewhere for future reference). By symbolically releasing it, you are surrendering your attachment to how, where and when your soulmate will arrive, and allowing the Universe to handle the details. As Deepak Chopra writes in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, “in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn’t mean you give up the intention to create your desire; it means you give up your attachment to the result.”

Pick a special day to perform this ritual. It can be a full moon, a new moon, a Friday (the day of Venus, Goddess of Love) or any other day you deem special.  Select a time of day and location that feels right for you. Begin by reading your list out loud, allowing the feeling of every word, trait, quality and desire to ripple through you. Then, as an act of faith that your wishes have been heard and granted, put it into a fire-safe container and burn it. As your list is turning to ash, know that your deepest intentions are being handed over to unseen forces that will orchestrate the time and place when you will one day meet your soulmate. Release the ashes into a body of water (the ocean, a river, a lake, etc.), or if that isn’t possible or practical, plant them in a garden.

Take a few minutes to sit quietly with your eyes closed, feeling your heart opening and expanding and knowing that your prayers have been released to the powers of the Universe. In the quiet of your heart, send a message to your beloved that you are looking forward to seeing them soon.


The last phase of your Soulmate List ritual is to create a private celebration for yourself. It can be as simple as enjoying a glass of champagne at an elegant location while you practice beaming love to everyone you see, or you may want to cook a delicious meal, light candles, play romantic music and bask in the knowingness that the wheels of destiny that will join you and your beloved have already been set into motion. Whatever kind of celebration feels right to you will be perfect.

Please remember, you don’t need to know exactly how, when, or where your soulmate will appear in your life. Your only job is to place your order by clarifying exactly what you desire and preparing yourself on all levels to receive him or her. Making your personal Soulmate Wish List is a great place to start.  The clearer and more specific you are when you ask, the easier it is for the Universe to answer your call.

If you are ready to attract the kind of soulmate love that sparks the fire in your heart and sears your soul with desire, now it’s easier than ever to make 2013 YOUR year to finally find your own true love! Starting July 10-18 you can join in an online series with over 50 top relationship experts from around the world, Attract Your Soulmate Now!


ARI WHITE LO RESArielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction (Harper One). She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband, Brian Hilliard.  Learn more about Arielle at, and