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The Biggest Reasons You May Not Have Found ‘The One’ Yet

Have friends wondered why you are still single? Is it the default question your mother turns to when you’re on the phone with her? And more importantly, are you scratching your head as to why you are not in a relationship? Is it possible that you have some hidden blocks that are keeping you unattached? Let’s look as some possible reasons you are not yet coupled.

1. Your Heart Has An Open Wound. There are the types of people that like to rescue or even prey on a broken heart, but the reality is that you may need to do more healing work before you are ready to enter a new relationship. Seek counseling, coaching, therapy, support groups and good books. Take whatever time is necessary to bring your heart to a better place.

2. Your Baggage Is Weighing You Down. Some people carry heavy baggage of past relationships that distract from a new potential relationship. If you feel you are a victim and you continue to blame your ex or ex’s for all your present day problems, you again need to do some healing work and forgiveness. Liberate yourself and take full responsibility for creating your own life now. Until you reach that point, the next great relationship may stay just out of reach.

3. You Are Too Afraid To Date Again. If you struggle to muster the courage to start dating, realize that both parties have some fear. It is natural to have butterflies in your stomach before the first date and feel somewhat awkward and clumsy. Be kind to yourself and just realize those feelings will pass. Think of nervousness as exciting because dating is helping you step outside your box of comfort into new adventures.

4. You Are Too Eager. If you feel desperate, the person you meet is likely to run and run fast in the opposite direction. Practicing patience is an important skill to exercise when beginning to date again. No one wants to feel chased. Let the relationship slowly grow, and you will have a much better chance at success.

5. You Are Secretly Married To Your Career. If you are a workaholic and your job is all encompassing, there may not be room for a relationship in your life. If you find yourself looking two weeks out to schedule your next date or if you spend the majority of your time on a date talking about your job, there may not be space in your life for a relationship.

6. You Have Forgotten How To Have Fun. If your life has been rather serious with raising children as a single parent, demands at work or other responsibilities, you may have lost a bit of the ability to be playful. If you have not had fun in your life in recent times, it is time to go out and remember how to have fun. Go to an amusement park or take dancing lessons. Whatever the definition of fun is to you, go and do it. Sometimes people meet doing common interests and activities.

7. Your Lost Your Sexy. Perhaps you have let yourself go a bit by gaining some extra weight and getting out of shape. It is time to pay attention and reverse this trend before it becomes an even bigger problem affecting your health. Furthermore, you may be wearing dated clothing or clothes that no longer look good on you. It is time to go shopping for some “I am still sexy clothes”. No matter what your body shape, there are clothes that you can look good wearing. Go invest some money in your appearance. You will feel better and gain confidence.

8. You Are Too Picky/Critical/Cynical/Inflexible. If you have created impossible standards that no human being can ever measure up to, you may need to relax just a bit. If you are so set in your ways and your routines that no person can ever slip in, then it may be time to shake it up a bit. Purposely go somewhere you have never been before or eat at a new restaurant. Take a class about a subject or activity that interests you. Find some new friends. Challenge yourself to try different things. But most of all, get a better attitude and cultivate an open mind.

9. You Lost Faith. If you are sending out conflicting energy about a relationship in your life, this opposing frequency of vibration often blocks or stalls what you want. It is important to become clear and focused that finding a relationship is a priority and the time is now. Affirm you are ready and visualize yourself as coupled. Spend a few minutes every day visualizing or affirming that you are attracting an ideal partner to you.

10. You’re ‘Too Busy.’ Begin to declutter your life to allow space for a relationship. Simplify, decommit, downsize, and slow down. Create some white space in your calendar so that when you date, you can be assured that you have created time for this part of your life. Become truly available and look for a match that is also available.

11. Women Only: You Have Become Too Masculine/Driven/Accomplished. Some women, who find they need to support themselves financially after a divorce, take on the work world by storm. They may take on a masculine energy to either advance in the workplace or simply survive a competitive work environment. When the workday is over, these women sometimes forget how to switch gears and turn on their femininity. It might be time to buy some new lingerie or take a zumba class that gets you back in touch with your feminine side.

If any of these possible reasons for still being single speak to you, devote some time and energy into healing and improving yourself. Awareness is the first step in the path to moving forward and making changes. You are fully capable of the adjustments necessary to bring about change in your life. For things to change in your life, you have to decide to change things in your life!

More from Lisa Shultz at YourTango:

Can You Snag a Relationship with Affirmations? 6 Tips to Try

8 First Date Conversation Mistakes that Scare Him Off