“He loves me, he loves me not.”
Do you remember playing this game when you were young? Think of all the daisies that had their petals torn off by girls (like myself) asking this all-important question.
It’s a haunting refrain that is continually asked by women of every age — “How do you know if he really loves you?”
The words “I love you” are the most anticipated in any romantic relationship. They transform a man from just someone you’re dating to your “boyfriend.” They’re considered the big game changer … the ultimate commitment.
But, if you’re wondering if he really loves you, I hope your next question is — “Why am I asking?”
Is there a nagging feeling inside that makes you doubt his true feelings? The answer is important because no matter how many times a man says those words, you have to take the time to reflect on whether you’re feeling the emotion behind them.
Here are 3 ways to help you know if he really loves you:
1. He makes you feel special.
This is one of the most important ingredients in any love relationship.
There are hundreds of things that the man you’re with can do to show you you’re the special woman in his life. How he pays attention to your feelings and shows concern for your well being or his willingness to go out of his way to do something that will make you happy are two examples. It’s a sense that he has chosen you as the most important person in his life.
Feeling special to a man is just that, a feeling. You either feel it with him or you don’t.
2. He doesn’t try to change you.
This doesn’t always show up in the early “honeymoon” phase of a relationship.
A man, when he’s unsure about his feelings for you, will begin to find things he wants to change about you. But love and judgment can’t occupy the same space. Trying to get someone behaving the way you want them to leaves little room for love.
If you’re not “living up” to his expectations of you then you’re not the person he’s looking for. He can’t change you into the woman he wants and you don’t need to fixed.
If a man appreciates who you are and enjoys finding out more and more about you as time goes by, that’s love.
3. He trusts you with his feelings.
Without intimacy there is no love. Intimacy is the ability to let someone see that part of you that you don’t share with the world. It’s one of the primary needs that a strong love relationship fulfills.
We all crave having a special someone with whom we can safely share some of our most secret thoughts and feelings. Women are more practiced at this then men and it comes easier to us. But men need a woman they can open up to — and not be judged as weak or wrong.
A man needs to open up to you and share that part of himself that no one else sees. It gives love depth and meaning.
If this question is coming to your mind it’s for a reason, so be courageous and be open to what it’s telling you. Perhaps it’s asking you to turn the question around so you will ask yourself, “Do I really love him?”
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Article originally posted at YourTango