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If You Want a Man, Get a Life

I’m a big believer that if you want to attract a man, you shouldn’t play hard to get. You should be hard to get. Let me tell you: what a difference a teeny two-letter word can make! Seriously.

You should actually be busy and having fun — and not just be playing at being busy having fun. Create a purposeful life for yourself, where you’re fully engaged — instead of making “getting engaged” your sole focus. I want to add here that becoming seriously busy with your life should not be done as a manipulation technique! You should create an exciting life for yourself because you feel a genuine sense of self-worth, and know that you deserve a fantastic life. (If it is the sense of self-worth that you’re struggling with, well, start by imagining the life you think someone who loves themselves would live and try it on for size!)

Unfortunately, I’ve seen far too many girls — myself included — who stop creating thriving lives for themselves once they get a man. Instead, they start to expect they’ll get all of their needs met from being in the relationship. I’ve learned the hard way that this is how you get burnt out…very quickly. Not only do you get burnt out — your man does too! It’s truly bad for your spirit to stop talking to your friends, stop doing girls dinners, stop doing the things you love (like going to the gym) simply because you’d rather spend time with your guy. When you look to your relationship as your only source of power, forgetting about all of the other things that energize you, you begin to drain each other, instead of recharging one another.
Trust me: you’re hurting yourself in the long term if, instead of including the relationship in your life, you make your life the relationship. You will have far more to contribute to your relationship when you create a meaningful life for yourself, apart from just your partnership. Men are super-attracted to women who are actively engaged in life — who have things to offer them, to teach them.

Always remember: you are a unique individual, with a purpose on this earth! In fact, this “unique, inspired, passionate you” is the “appealing you” who attracted your man in the very first place. Hence you should never put this “appealing you” in the very last place!

More at Divine Caroline:

How the Holidays Can Wreak Havoc on Your Relationship

The Best Celebrity Couples of 2011

 Snappy Comebacks to Ten Inappropriate Questions