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eHarmony Women Share Their Turn-Ons

1.    Kindness to everyone (i.e. not being rude to wait staff, random people, etc.)
2.    Engaging me in an intelligent/intellectual conversation (I like when a guy wants me to think for myself!)
3.    Sense of humor
4.    Being able to take care of himself — I love when a guy works on his own car or house.
5.    Happiness/Optimism — A guy who’s smiling is going to get my attention faster than a guy who looks perpetually pissed off.

1.    Intellect (and the exercise of it…)
2.    Awareness of others (attentiveness)
3.    Physical fitness (not necessarily an athlete, but just generally in reasonable shape; namely, he’s capable of spending the morning wheelbarrowing fieldstones if I need to lay a new garden path!)
4.    Good communication (both giving and receiving)
5.    Responsibility (ability to handle and willingness to take on/share)

1.    Not stupid
2.    Good grooming/sense of style when dressing (but not overly trendy)
3.    Flirty, quick witted
4.    In somewhat decent shape — can carry some extra poundage but not sloppy.
5.    Tattoos, piercings
6.    Has interests other than sports
7.    Confident but not cocky
8.    Assertive but not aggressive
9.    Likes cats
10.  Not sexually repressed
11.  Does not carry baggage (the emotional kind)
12.  Good communication/social skills

1.    Intelligence … this can make up for good looks any day! I love an intelligent man. Someone who can talk to you, someone who has knowledge of what’s going on in the world, who can have a conversation, good debate … someone who knows multiple language is also a huge turn-on.

2.    Communication — a guy who can communicate, open up to you, who is responsive and is good at keeping in touch. Someone who is social to the point where they know how to conduct themselves and can really hold an interesting conversation with people.

3.    Committed — someone who is committed and loyal, someone who takes pride in his relationship and likes to be taken care of (yes, I am one of those women… have no problem taking care of my man as long as he is taking care of me).

4.    Adventurous — someone who wants to get out and explore, whether that’s a new food, a new activity, or new place. Love a guy who can and actually enjoys taking the lead and just going for it.

5.    Stable — I am in a good place in life personally, and I am looking for a guy who is also in a good emotionally and financially stable situation.

1.    Smart (but not obnoxious about it)
2.    Good character (honest, can be trusted, loyal)
3.    Physically fit (not an Olympian but takes care of himself)
4.    Great smile and likes to use it
5.    Eyes (like a twinkle in them)
6.    Affectionate and communicative
7.    Kindness and respect for others
8.    Great sense of humor
9.    Responsible
10.   Thinks I am wonderful

These are what get me to notice him in the first place:
1. Intelligence (without the arrogant attitude)
2. Sense of humor (trite but it’s true)
3. A warm smile
4. Okay, I admit I like facial hair…

Once we’re in a relationship, these will make me want to cancel our dinner reservations and stay home with him:
1. A backrub with lotion (my favorite)
2. Watching him help someone in need
3. Doing some chore as a surprise because he knows I hate it
4. Telling me I’m beautiful and meaning it (we can see it in your eyes…)
5. Having an engrossing conversation (that one’s probably just me)
6. Watching him be loving and caring around his family


1.    Kind to me, children and animals
2.    Sense of humor, does not take himself or the situation too seriously
3.    Passionate about his life, me, and all the good things
4.    Emotionally stable
5.    Intelligent without being overbearing
6.    Loves me

1. Someone who will rub me the right way…and I mean feet and back!
2. Great smile…authentic…sense of humor
3. Honest…someone who can actually tell you how they feel
4. Stable…I already have 4 kids…I don’t need a man who’s a kid
5. Someone who’s crazy about me…not just crazy!


1.    A good writer and speller; also knows the proper use of punctuation
2.    A great sense of humor (can laugh at himself and me)
3.    Interested in sports (they don’t have to like the same teams as me) and being active.
4.    Does what he says he’s going to do and in a timely manner
5.    A great smile

1.    French or spanish … yes, whisper sweet nothings in my ear …  I don’t speak either language, so fake it if you have to :-)!!
2.    Hold me, hug me, laugh and smile — nothing like being in the arms of a man that smells good and can make you smile at the same time!
3.    Surprise me with something fun! Yes, a new food, experience, whatever, that is a huge turn on.
4.    Email me, text me … yes, just to say hi, to say you were thinking about me, to tell me about your day, and ask to hear about mine.
5.    Responsiveness — if I text you or email you, and you reply, and are genuine about being happy to hear from me… ooh, baby!!

1.    Taller than me (I’m 5’7″) yeah, burn on baby, I can’t help it.
2.    A great smile (I agree Scarlet)
3.    Man hands
4.    Blue eyes (or any other great eyes. Guess I’m not so picky after all)
5.    Not metro-sexual. I like a guy. Not a girl in disguise.
6.    Trapezius muscles really turn me on. Totally hot. Right above the collar bone. Weird.

1. He pays the check without whining
2. Has all the right moves
3. Picks me up at my door
4. Never forgets to call
5. Only has eyes for me
6. Can fix a flat tire
7. Takes out my garbage
8. Uses cologne and deodorant
9. Has good teeth
10. Has it all together

1.    Speaks a foreign language
2.    Intelligent and capable seeming
3.    Tall
4.    Smells nice
5.    Radiates a warmness toward me
6.    Takes control of the situation moving forward
7.    Good skin — a bit of a healthy tan if he lives where I do
8.    Keeps his eyes on me, sort of fixates like a deer in headlights
9.    Moves closer to me
10.   Is curious about me

1.    Continuing to make jokes until I am laughing uncontrollably
2.    Great listener with great questions
3.    Whispering in my ear and lingering
4.    Back rubs!
5.    Being assertive without being aggressive
6.    Touching my hair/running fingers through my hair
7.    Being kind and attentive to my dog
8.    Ability to do complex math problems in his head (totally serious about this one)
9.    Confidence
10.   A man of at least 6′. I am tall and love the experience of looking up at a man and feeling small

1.    Can make me laugh
2.    Stubble and messy hair (but showered/clean)
3.    Nice teeth/ Good breath
4.    Enjoys cooking
5.    Can fix things (handy)
6.    Financially responsible (no/little debt)
7.    Reads regularly
8.    Likes being the “big spoon”
9.    When walking around I love when a man puts his hand on the small of my back protectively
10.    Drinks coffee and loves Guinness

1.    Easy going
2.    Polite
3.    Funny
4.    Kind
5.    Sexy
6.    Deep
7.    Well read
8.    Open minded
9.    Hair I can run my fingers through when we kiss (and other stuff)


1.   Funny
2.   Clever
3.   Worldly
4.   Original in some way of his own choosing
5.   Loving and affectionate men who whisper really dirty stuff in your ears at inappropriate times.
6.   Modest arrogance.
7.   …………….and in a niche way, men who play the guitar slung really low and smoke whilst they do. Like Jess out of Slobberbone. Pure sex.

1.    Intelligent
2.    Meek (which I define as power under constraint: a powerful person that is wise, gentle, and self-assured. They’re extremely rare in my book and this really should be number one.)
3.    Humor (not the cynical type)
4.    Self-awareness/being willing to laugh at himself (also very very rare)
5.    Fit

1.    A man (just the literal interpretation please)
2.    Breathing
3.    Tolerates my love of the Bengals
4.    Understands that yes, I can cuss better than he can, with much more gusto at things that don’t matter… as long as it’s not at him (unless he deserves it
5.    Understands that I live in a zoo … literally 3 cats a dog me and a kid. We’re a show. We should travel.
6.    Has all of his teeth
7.    Hears my sense of humor and isn’t scared
8.    Is all about the sexy time as I am
9.    Thinks I’m prettttttty darn awesome
10.  Cojones and sensitive and awesome and amazing and cool and funny and a man… did I say that already?