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7 Self-Inflicted Barriers to Finding Love

Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a small town, you know what it’s like to drive down the road and get stuck at a roadblock. Road construction, a washout, or an accident stops you cold and keeps you stuck where you are. It isn’t only on streets and highways where you encounter roadblocks—they can appear on the road to romance as well. If you wonder why your love life seems stuck, consider 7 possible barriers:

You’re convinced that all the ‘good ones’ are taken.

If you don’t believe there are any great partners out there, you won’t be motivated to keep looking. Remember, perception is reality! Assessing what you believe about the promise of lasting love is first step toward interrupting a frustrating dating pattern.

You’re reluctant to risk.

Dating and risk-taking go hand in hand. This doesn’t mean putting yourself in unsafe situations, but it does mean pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and predictable routines. After all, dating is all about socializing and conversing with someone you don’t know well. If you’re unwilling to risk, at least a little, you close the door on many possibilities.

You’ve been hurt and don’t want to be again.

Anyone who has endured a broken heart never wants to feel so bad again. That’s understandable! Will you ever be hurt by someone again? Possibly. But one thing is certain: For romance to flourish, you can’t allow fear of pain to control you. By playing it safe, you may avoid painful feelings, but you’ll also avoid meeting the love of your life.

You believe you don’t have the time.

Dating can be time consuming, with so many texts to return and dead-end coffee meets. Yes, this does mean exploring all possibilities and maybe finding a partner after lots of looking and trying. The fact is, you won’t find romance unless you make the time for opportunities that arise.

After dating disappointments, your confidence is wobbly.

Maybe you’ve been burned by relationships that went sour, or you’ve grown weary of dates that lead nowhere, or you’re tired of being disappointed. And now your confidence in yourself–or the dating process—has become shaky. Believe the best about yourself, and always believe that an amazing person is searching for you, too.

You give up on people too quickly.

It’s never wise to hang in there with a relationship you’re sure is going nowhere. But some people are too quick to move on when there’s not instant attraction. If sparks don’t fly right away, they might pass on a great match without giving chemistry a chance to develop. Sometimes the best romances start with a slow simmer and build to a full boil.

You’re passing up a possible romance.

Whether you’re isolating yourself by avoiding connections made online, or by saying ‘no thanks’ to social events and interactions, you’re preventing your chances of meeting new friends and possibly even a life partner. When looking for romance, saying yes to opportunities will remove one of the roadblocks that might be standing in the way.