You’ve been there: after a not-so-great date, you’re venting to one of your coupled-up friends, expressing your frustration and practically begging for an answer to when your luck in love will turn around. After some calm words of reassurance and promises of a happily-ever-after that’s frankly a little difficult for you to imagine, you snap at your pal for being so positive when dating is anything but that.
For most of us, that friend who has managed to find love will almost always say: “You know, it’s a lot about timing and a little luck.”
If you’re anything like me, those words both inspire and discourage you, right? Especially when you have so much control over other things in your life – career, finances, travel – and so little control of when this infamous soulmate will make his or her appearance in your life.
But, in the spirit of the Irish and in honor of the cheeky St. Patrick himself, there are ways to bring more luck into your love life. Even if it’s just a change of mindset, it’s enough to get you out of your negative thinking and into believing that love is always (always!) on its way to you:
1. Say Hello to Spring
As winter thaws and temperatures finally grow to double-digits, you’ll want to be outside more and more. This is good news for singles, as the best way to meet someone is to be an active participant in your community, wherever you might be. Even if you’re just riding a bike in the park, sipping coffee or cocktails at an outdoor cafe or making an effort to smile at someone at your weekly farmer’s market, getting out of your apartment and into opportunities around you will make your odds of meeting a special someone that much greater.
2. Read More Books + Take Classes
Can literature bring you the epic romantic tales that you daydream about? Not exactly – but an educated person is an attractive person, according to several studies. Regardless of what you’re interested in, study it! If you’ve always wanted to learn how to cook a pizza from scratch, take a class or try it at home. The more you investigate topics that you’re passionate about, the more you’ll have to say about them on dates. This kind of knowledge is not only beneficial for you as an individual and your lifelong learning journey, but it’s sexy to a possible partner, too.
3. Act Like It’s Already Happened
Successful entrepreneurs and business owners will tell you time-and-time again: believing something will happen is the first step in making it your reality. It’s easy to get into the game of ‘this never works out’ or ‘I’ll never meet someone’ – but it’s harder to change that internal language to say, ‘I haven’t found love yet, but I will soon.’ When you find yourself going down that road, close your eyes and imagine what that love life looks like. Think of all the details: how it’ll feel, what you’ll do as a couple, what characteristics are important to you, and then trust that it’ll come your way. People don’t get what they want because they’re suddenly rewarded with the gold at the end of the rainbow, they find what they’re looking for because they’ve put in the work – both mentally and emotionally – to get there.
4. Stop ‘Quick Fix’ Dating
When you can’t fall asleep because of thoughts like: “I’ve been single forever, it’s never going to happen, what if I never get married?!’, you might log on to your online dating account and make a date with someone out of fear. Falling in love when you’re afraid nothing better will come along is a recipe for an unfulfilling, unhealthy relationship. Instead of rushing to go out with someone or settling for someone who is good enough for a Friday night, take a breath, remember those things that you want, and then take the time to source them in someone. You might spend more time screening, but chances are, you’ll be happier with the outcome of the date.
5. Be Spontaneous
We all have ideas of where we’d like to be in a year, five years or even ten years. While goals are important and helpful, having an open mind (and heart) will allow things you could have never put a deadline on to come into your life. If your plan was to go to yoga, go grocery shopping, and clean the kitchen after work, but a friend tells you about a networking event with attractive, single people there – be spontaneous and change your plans. While it’s important to do things that make you happy, luck comes to those who are brave enough to put themselves out there and have some faith that even if it hasn’t worked out before… it can. And it will.
Lindsay Tigar is a 26-year-old single writer, editor, and blogger living in New York City. She started her popular dating blog, Confessions of a Love Addict, after one too many terrible dates with tall, emotionally unavailable men (her personal weakness) and is now developing a book about it, represented by the James Fitzgerald Agency. She writes for eHarmony, YourTango, REDBOOK, and more. When she isn’t writing, you can find her in a boxing or yoga class, booking her next trip, sipping red wine with friends or walking her cute pup, Lucy.