It was 70s balladeer James Taylor who once said that, with him in your life, you had a friend. Whether down and troubled or if you needed a helping hand, you just had to call out his name and he’d come running. This is all well and good, but once there, was he the right kind of friend?
Not every man needs every type of friend, but all men need these following five in their life…
Of all the numbers buried in a single man’s cell phone, it’s perhaps the Wingman who’s on speed dial 1. Without him, a single man is likely to remain one for a considerable period of time, as the Wingman’s role is to arouse the appropriate amount of confidence to enable his friend to approach women in public places. Sure, it’s not like we can’t go in alone, but with the right kind of Wingman, we’re twice the man we are without him. In the face of failure, he works as a confidence shield. With success, he’s an appreciative audience, a rapturous round of applause. But beware: if your Wingman is too lucky with the ladies, he’ll be casting a heavy shadow that you could get lost in. Conversely, with too weak a Wingman, you two are just a pair of losers in a bar. So pick wisely.
The Ceaseless Single
Apart from the wrinkles and inexplicable sprouts of hair, the other problem with getting older is that your friends start to get paired off. As they disappear into domestic coupledom only to re-emerge when they get a break in their dinner-party schedule, you realize how much you need THIS guy: the Ceaseless Single. Every group of friends has the one buddy who remains resolutely unattached, whether due to bad odor, bad habits, or just plain bad behavior. But there are times in your life when you really need this guy big, someone you can rely on when your wife/other friends/family are just too busy to give you the time of day, and you just want someone to hang out with. He’s the guy you can call on a moment’s notice and know he’s not going to be busy looking after the kids or shuffling around Home Depot.
The Female Friend without Benefits
At first sight not quite as attractive an option as the Female Friend WITH Benefits, this lesser-featured alternative is an essential addition to your friend armory. With the benefits removed, you can start getting the female perspective on everything – from that cologne you’re drowning in to that facial hair you think is attractive – from someone without a vested interest. Finally, you can find out that women don’t care about your new iPhone, have little interest in seeing Saw 3, and are not overly fussed by the NFL draft, all from someone who knows. Plus, there’s more: you can actually talk about your feelings without being laughed at. Go on, you know you want to.
The Escape Life Guy
He doesn’t have to be single, but he does need to be the type of guy who can take off on an adventure when the mood strikes. Whether your preference is a long weekend’s motorcycle ride, a scuba-diving trip in Hawaii, or a long-haul flight to a German beer-fest, Escape Life Guy is your link to a Disney-free world of adventure. He’s always got a half-packed bag ready to go and he’s game to explore the world beyond his cubicle/apartment/better half. Sometimes a guy’s got to cut loose, and he’s the man to do it with.
The Shopping Guy (Yes, You Read that Right)
Although this may seem anathema to many, even menfolk have to occasionally step into a giant mall and splash some cash. Sure, the Female Friend Without Benefits can help with the clothes, but Shopping Guy is your go-to company for electronics, autos, and beyond. He’s the guy who’s been spending as many hours as you have exploring online discussion groups and comparing stats, and he’s as desperate as you are to get his hands on the real deal. More knowledgeable than anyone on the Best Buy payroll, consider him your personal – and portable – consumer report.