You may want more dates … or you may want better dates. You probably want dates with people who have the potential to be the love of your life. Whatever the case, it’s wise to pause and ask if you’re doing all you can to attract the best.
To be sure you’re the kind of person other people can’t wait to go out with—and keep going out with— here are some things to think about…
1. Act “as if …” If you knew you would meet someone amazing this week, you would probably dress a little nicer, keep your car cleaner, and smile more. So do it, because it just might happen.
2. Make yourself feel attractive. Read a self-improvement book, buy a new outfit, get out and exercise, update your look—when you feel attractive, others will find you more attractive, too.
3. Initiate a growth spurt. You will be far more captivating to the opposite sex by continually growing, developing, and moving your life toward a big goal.
4. Check your must-have and can’t-stand lists. Those lists you made to evaluate potential partners are a good place to evaluate your own attractiveness.
5. Love yourself—so you can receive love from someone else. Don’t roll your eyes, this is so true! Having a healthy self-regard, and feeling comfortable in your own skin, sends a powerful message that you are ready to give and receive love.
6. Live with purpose. Everyone wants to be around a person who loves life and lives it fully. Discover what inspires and energizes you, and go for it.
7. Project confidence. Since self-confidence is contagious, you’ll boost your odds of finding a partner if you become convinced deep down that you have a lot to offer.
8. Detox your emotional life. Toxic emotions — bitterness, regrets, shame — have a way of leaking out into actions and attitudes. Do whatever you can to work through damaging feelings.
9. Tell it like it is. Everyone appreciates a straight shooter, with no hidden agendas or sales pitches.
10. Let your enthusiasm pour out. Which would you choose—a date who has low energy and seems indifferent, or someone who is upbeat and optimistic? So would your potential dates.
11. Skip the snarky banter. Modern humor leans heavily on sarcasm and cynicism, which may work for stand-up comics and late-night TV hosts, but not so much for potential lovers.
12. Maximize your God-given assets. Look for ways to develop and utilize your talents.
13. Know where you’re going. If you don’t have a solid direction for your life, work hard to develop one.
14. Show genuine interest. Everyone has a story to tell and a desire to be heard. Make the other person feel worthy of your undivided attention. (Put the phone away.)
15. Leave exes out of the conversation. You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating because it’s such a common complaint: No one wants to hear all the terrible details about your exes!
Which of the above areas could you focus on a bit more?
About Ashley and eH+:
eHarmony’s new service, eH+ , gives you the benefit of a personal matchmaker who picks your matches and guides you to success. We’re taking the best of what eHarmony does and combining that with what personal matchmakers do best – person-to-person conversation, opportunities for feedback, and coaching to put your best foot forward.
eHarmony users, be sure to include your phone number in your account information so that Ashley can contact you if you are a match for an eH+ client.