Sorting Your Significant Other: Dating for Your Harry Potter House

Not long ago, my roommate and I were talking about dating when we struck upon another topic we both enjoy: Harry Potter. Beyond the obvious question: who in the wizarding world would you like to date? (For me, it’s between Sirius Black and Oliver Wood), there is another, more real world question: what house is your ideal mate in?

My roommate, like many people, is looking for a Gryffindor. She wants someone brave and willing to be the life of the party, someone to pull her out of her comfort zone when she’s feeling introverted.

I, on the other hand, am looking for a Hufflepuff. I want someone kind and loyal, someone who might like to cook for me. When I mentioned this to a friend recently, she suggested that I might want to look for “a Hufflepuff in the street and a Slytherin between the sheets.” She might be onto something.

Just in case you need a refresher, here are the distinguishing characteristics of the houses: Gryffindor values bravery, daring, nerve, and chivalry. Hufflepuff is all about hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play. Ravenclaw prizes intelligence, knowledge, and wit. Slytherin favor ambition, cunning, and resourcefulness.

It’s hard not to gravitate toward the Griffyndor’s if only because most of the characters we know best come from that house. Who wouldn’t want a brave and chivalrous partner? However, it’s also possible that these witches and wizards wouldn’t like to sit still for long. Everyday life might get a bit boring. I have a hunch that this house might pair best with one of their own. They’d both be up for an adventure most of the time, and they could bolster each other when bravery falters. I could also see a Ravenclaw pairing being likely, with a Hufflepuff less so, and Slytherin completely improbable.

Recently, while watching an episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, one character self-identifies as a Ravenclaw. In response, another character notes: “When people say they’re Ravenclaw, they really think they’re Gryffindor but they don’t want to seem too braggy.” This is certainly one way to think of the house of Ravenclaw, but as a sorted member, I’m afraid I just don’t find it true. While Ravenclaws might get along well with Griffyndors (think Luna Lovegood’s wonderful friendship with Harry, Hermione, and Ron) I think they’re happy being who they are. I have a tendency to be focused on what is going on in my own head, my nose often in a book. I think that I, and other Ravenclaws, might benefit from partners who ground us a little more in reality. A Gryffindor might bring out the practicality of our knowledge, and get us out of the library, a Hufflepuff might encourage us to be companionable. Even a Slytherin’s ambition and resourcefulness might be a good match for our wit, provided they don’t take after the Dark Lord.

I’m afraid I can’t see a Hufflepuff with a Slytherin. I don’t think either would have much respect for the other. A Hufflepuff might wish for a life that wouldn’t be exciting enough for a Griffyndor, but that might not be true in all cases (think of Cedric Diggory, after all). I think certain Ravenclaws would be fine choices, and other Hufflepuffs might also be a great fit.

It’s easy to hate the house of Slytherin. After all, all of the witches and wizards that went bad came from that house. Still, aside from the evil, there are some redeeming characteristics of the house, when channeled in productive directions. Ambition might make a Slytherin successful in work (but perhaps also in love). It seems likely that a Slytherin might be just who you want in your corner when you’re in a tough jam, needing to extemporize an escape, or rescue a dinner party disaster. It’s hard to think of a more loyal character than Snape, a Slytherin through and through. While I could see a pairing between Griffyndor or Ravenclaw working in certain cases (perhaps helped to balance some of the Slytherin extremes) it seems more likely that this group will find a partner in-house.

To make things even more complicated, some of my friends have started identifying as house hybrids (like Ravenpuffs and Slytherdors). Although this might make people even harder to figure out, I sort of like the challenge of seeing which parts of each house are present in the personality of someone I’m getting to know (but maybe that’s a Ravenclaw thing).

Regardless of where the Sorting Hat puts you, it’s clear that anyone who claims to be a part of a Hogwarts House is still leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of the muggles. With such a strong fandom foundation, in the years to come you can turn to each other and say: “After all this time?” and the other can reply: “Always.” And all will be well.

Cara Strickland writes about food and drink, mental health, faith and being single from her home in the Pacific Northwest. She enjoys hot tea, good wine, and deep conversations. She will always want to play with your dog. Connect with her on Twitter @anxiouscook or at

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