‘So, When are You Getting Engaged?’

whenacoupleshouldgetengagedIf you’re in a long-term relationship, the time will come when friends and strangers alike will start asking the dreaded question: “So, when are you two getting engaged?”

Dating with Dignity has five easy, breezy comebacks to that allow you to answer firmly and politely — while retaining your dignity.

“You’ll be the first to know!” This answer is great for close friends or family who continually ask when you’ll be getting hitched to a serious partner. You can politely let them know that you’d prefer they don’t ask again but that they’ll certainly be the first to know. Setting a firm but loving boundary is essential so that those people who love you understand that while you appreciate their interest and concern, you also appreciate privacy and the fact that you’re on top of how quickly (or not) your relationship is progressing.

“As much as I love to answer personal questions, I think I’ll reserve that answer for friends and family!” When strangers or acquaintances ask about your love life, it can feel about as invasive as if someone asked for your medical history. While you want to set a clear boundary, be compassionate. People often forget that love lives are quite personal, so reminding them with some dry wit is a great way to get your point across.

“You know, I’m not sure. When did you get married? How did you meet?” With a response that turns the spotlight on the question’s asker, you’ll find that most people can’t resist talking about themselves. This is a good reply for an older friend, married friend, or older family member such as a grandparent. Plus, you’ll probably hear some pretty cool stories!

“We’re waiting until it’s legal for everyone to get married!” Even if this isn’t true, it’s a totally solid answer for someone with whom you don’t feel like talking about the ins and outs of your relationship.  Answering a la Brad and Angie will quiet the inquisitor!

“We’ll see when we get there. We’re happy with the way things are right now.” This reply can be reserved for mutual friends or nosy relations at family events. You can simply let them know that you’re content with the way your relationship is (and you’re dating for a reason).

Note: Normally it’s the guy who asks, so you should ask him and see what he says! If you’re getting the heat from HIS friends, you can let them know that he’s the man with the answers (and hopefully the plan)–so they should feel free to ask him.

The questions will certainly keep coming, so feel free to revisit this list of dignified answers for nosy (but probably well-meaning) people.

Learn more about relationship coach Marni Battista and Dating with Dignity.

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