The holidays bring people together and can also bring up some painful issues for many of us. I really liked these simple guidelines from relationship expert Bobbi Anderson so much that I had to share this with you all. It’s a good thing to have handy and read over just before you sit down for the holiday meal with the family. Here are her thoughts…
Stress, painful traditional holiday family gatherings and meetings with “friends” you’d really rather avoid can often result in chronic headaches. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, does this sound like some of the “joy” that surrounds your holidays?
Want to say no to the traditional holiday stressors this year? Here are five ways to transform negative family and friends situations around the holidays into pleasant, peaceful and calm experiences. How about starting the new year in a blissful place rather than a desperate, pain-filled transition after experiencing the end of the year holiday season? Now that’s something to be thankful for.
1. Avoid Needing To Prove That You’re Right
How much energy have you wasted over the years insisting on proving to someone that you’re right? Is it really that important to be right? And more to the point, isn’t “being right” just your interpretation? Challenge yourself to keep quiet when you’re tempted to go on a rampage of proving you’re right. Your restraint will create real peace in the situation, as well as gain you respect from the person that’s expecting you to argue with them.
2. Don’t Criticize
Realize now how important it is to validate what others think and do. There’s more than one way to do everything, and just because it’s the way that it’s “always been done”, it does not mean that it has to continue to be done that way. Give yourself the opportunity to experience things differently — leave the criticism at home this year.
3. No Blame Game
If you’re late, whose fault is it? Your partner was slow getting ready or the kids wouldn’t get off the computer? Do not blame. “It is what it is”. Blaming accomplishes nothing. Look within to see what could have happened differently.
4. Don’t Take What Others Say Personally
We all have our ‘triggers.’ Is there a once-a-year comment that always comes out of someone’s mouth and just sets you off? I have something for you to think about: when someone says something that triggers you, stop and think “I wonder what they’re feeling that prompts them to say that?” It’s always about the other person, not you. Do not take things personally.
5. Be Grateful
So many have so much and many more have so little. Be grateful.
More at YourTango:
Want A Healthy Relationship? Learn What Forgiveness Really Means
Get His Attention: 12 Conversation Starters For Women
This article was originally published on YourTango.
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