You might really want a relationship. But are you emotionally ready for one? Taking a look at ourselves is challenging, but rewarding and smart in the end. And not just for you — but for anyone taking the time to invest in you. I really liked today’s guest blog from relationship expert Aaron Kaplan.
Written by Aaron Kaplan, YourTango
Many people are so focused on finding someone to be their significant other that they overlook the fact that they’re not ready for commitment. You’d think you’d realize you don’t want to be in a relationship, but that’s not always true. Instead, you may be craving to have someone in your life to share things with. Don’t confuse this feeling with being ready to be in a relationship.
Here are some signs that suggest you might not be ready for a relationship:
1. You’re drawn to the wrong person.
Time after time, the person you’re attracted to is in no way the one you should be with. Even though you’re warned that they might be a huge player or a loser, it doesn’t stop you from latching onto them. It also doesn’t take very long to realize that you’ve made a big mistake.
2. You are only happy when you have “someone.”
When you’re invited to a social event, unless you have a date to escort you, it’s likely that you’ll make up an excuse to not attend. This is never a good reason to jump into a relationship. You need to learn how to be happy with yourself and on your own first.
Some women feel like they need to “fix” someone. This translates into drama. They find someone who’s dysfunctional and then keep busy by trying to saving him. Being a therapist isn’t the same thing as being a girlfriend.
On the flip side, you might want someone to save you. If you’re constantly talking about what a mess your life is, it’s important to fix it all before you’re ready for a real relationship. You’ll most likely attract another person with all of your same issues, so neither of you will get better.
3. You think a relationship will complete you.
While this sounds great in a movie or in a book, reality is a bit different. There should be no completing. In fact, you might consider looking for a partner who will complement you. This makes you look a lot less needy.
4. You spend more time looking for love than enjoying your interests.
Granted, you do need to be out there in social situations if you ever plan to meet the right person, but don’t plan all of your outings around “The Hunt.”
5. Your baggage is holding you back.
You haven’t truly and thoroughly dealt with any leftover emotional baggage from previous relationships. Until you do, all your future relationships will be “rebounds.” Another person isn’t necessarily going to take your mind off of your ex.
6. You don’t feel you can be your authentic self.
There is no need to turn yourself inside out to make sure you’re exactly what someone else wants. Be more concerned about whether or not the other person is exactly what you want.
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Article originally appeared on YourTango: 6 Signs You’re TOTALLY Not Ready For A Relationship