How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success. — Elbert Hubbard
I was talking to a lovely woman who works with me at eHarmony the other morning. She manages the customer care department, and deals with any and all issues regarding customer accounts, etc. I asked her what the most common complaint was for people using our service. Her response was not what I expected: “People want us to deliver the perfect match to them immediately. They get really disappointed if they have not seen anyone they are interested in — even after just a week or two on the site. So I would say the biggest issue is a lack of patience.”
I have to admit; I wondered how people could have such an expectation (then realized this was the perfect blog topic!).
In today’s world, we are very spoiled by the ability to pretty much have anything we want almost instantaneously. Love the lipstick Jennifer Lopez wore the other night? Just go to Us Weekly and you can find out where to snap it up. In three days, it arrives at your doorstep. Love a song you hear while out to dinner? Just tap your Shazam app, and you can download it in about 5 minutes. Want a date for the night? Yes, there are apps for that as well. You get my point.
As you likely know, eHarmony is really about pairing you up with someone you can have a lasting, quality relationship with. This is by no means the equivalent to purchasing anything else online. Our research team, which consists of social scientists and PhD’s, are constantly working to learn more about what equals a successful relationship. The research takes months, sometimes years, and the data is then added into the matching mix (to put it simply!). They are also able to learn valuable information from eHarmony itself — like what type of person will be more likely to communicate with another type of person; they then can deliver more matches based on those findings.
What I am saying is that there is an extremely complex organization running behind the scenes here, with one ultimate goal: to find you the best match possible. It’s not easy. It’s not simple. It’s a process for us, and for you.
If you can try to remind yourself that it is absolutely worth it to have some patience when looking for the love of your life — that would be an amazing takeaway. I have personally met many eHarmony success couples the past six years I’ve worked here, and many of them were on the site (patiently) for 6 months to a year. It always strikes me how incredibly happy they are.
Patience is the companion of wisdom. — St. Augustine