Is This Relationship Doomed? She’s 62 and he’s 38

I got this very interesting comment on a previous blog post –

“I have a friend who was very attracted to a younger man. She is 62 he is 38 and she looks much younger, about 46-48. My friend did not tell her real age and told him she was 46. the younger guy told her at first that he had a girlfriend, but later on maybe weeks later the younger guy started to pursue my friend.He told her that he had broken up with his girlfriend. They talked at first on the phone then they started to see each other. It ended up they had sex and after that he seemed no longer interested. Even though she knows she lied to him about her age she still feels this strong attraction to him. I told her that it never could have worked out anyway because of the age difference.”

Several interesting issues in this situation:

1. Is it ever okay to lie about your age? For men, we’re always told to never ask a woman’s age. Publicly there is some sort of free pass given to women who shave off a few years. Did this woman commit an unpardonable sin by shaving 16 years off her age?

2. When a relationship starts with this kind of untruth does it doom the relationship to failure? Clearly the woman looks like she could be 46, or he wouldn’t have believed her. Does that matter?

3. I’ve mentioned this story to several female friends and they all say the same thing, “A 62-year-old woman and a 38-year-old man? You go girl!” Is it even necessary to write that if I swapped the genders they would say, “That’s disgusting – an old man chasing a young woman like that!” Why the double standard?

4. We all know that a 62-year-old man and a 38 year-old-woman can live happily ever after. We see if quite often. Can the reverse situation work just as well?

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